Open Poetry #48 |
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Elevator |
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l'artiste Junior Member
since 2011-12-01
Posts 19Washington |
Closed in, I start to panic, feelings of horror and pain. That feeling shoots through me, the feeling that somebody is pinching my oxygen tube. The fear is shooting through me, we are stuck, trapped with no way out. These seven stupid kids, not yet halfway to the next floor. "what are we going to do?" one screams. "we are all going to die." say s another. Nobody notices at first, the girl in the corner, huddled in fear, shaking and sweaty. My heart is pounding. I feel it, I can hear it, Oh my God, I can see it. Staring down at my chest, I see the rhythmic beat; bu bum, bu bum, bu bum... Then they see me, the look of horror on my face. One person tries to calm me down, seeing the severity of the situation. But the rest... they are all just laughing at me. horror and pain are replaced. Now in their place is anger and hurt, I know they dont like me. But couldn't they just pretend to care? Setting aside all emotions. I am trying to concentrate, I have to slow down my breathing. I am beginning to hyperventilate. My inhaler, still on the bus, is no use to me now. What is going to happen to me? Eventually a maintenance worker gets us out. I am calm now, and already have it engraved in my brain... NEVER RIDE IN AN ELEVATOR AGAIN!!!! This may not seem like a poem to very many people, mainly because it doesnt have a specified form. There isnt anything special about the lines. It is just my feelings and emotions written out... If you have any questions ask and I will do my best to answer them. Thanks for reading ![]() |
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© Copyright 2012 Yvonne - All Rights Reserved | |||
JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Did you get stuck on an elevator? Did it fall, then get stopped between floors? Scary write. JL ![]() Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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l'artiste Junior Member
since 2011-12-01
Posts 19Washington |
we got stuck in an elevator at my local college.... some of the guys started jumping up and down and it just stopped... Thanks for reading ![]() |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...keep your inhaler close for your safety...James |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
You rendered the panicking moments very powerfully and vividly. I always think twice before taking the elevator, because I am also claustrophobic. Margherita |
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