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icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2012-01-25 08:34 PM

Living open in a world of storm and shadows
without shelter,
no solace for my anguished soul,
I find emotion's shopworn souvenirs
too tedious to carry.

©2012 icebox

[This message has been edited by icebox (01-26-2012 09:49 AM).]

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2012-01-25 08:45 PM

I like the hell out of this small poem with a hell of a lot to say, Ice

"I find emotion's shopworn souvenirs
to tedious to carry."

Absolutely and right on and whatever else you wanna say to put an exclamation point on those two get-down lines. I got rid of my shopworn souvenirs October 2011. Yeah, I know. I'd been carrying them around for a while, but they're gone now.

This is dynamite stuff, man.

~*~ I gave up feeling guilty just to survive a long time ago ~*~

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

2 posted 2012-01-25 11:25 PM

too tedious to carry..indeed
a strong man with a strong poem..enjoyed

..>>spiros
--------------

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

3 posted 2012-01-26 12:23 PM

powerful lil write!

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
— W. E. Channing

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

4 posted 2012-01-26 01:25 PM

"Living open in a world of storm and shadows
without shelter,"

This is so true, and I am sure there
are a lot who can relate to this line.

Enjoyed.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

5 posted 2012-01-26 03:14 PM

To surrender emotions, makes life lighter.
Great insight, icebox!
Ms. E

katahdin
Senior Member

since 2010-07-01

Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.

6 posted 2012-01-26 08:28 PM

wow very powerful write, enjoyed.
Kat >^..^<

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

7 posted 2012-01-26 10:05 PM

Those last two lines are just an awesome phrasing, my friend - much enjoyed.

j.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

8 posted 2012-01-27 08:12 AM

boy, this was extremely heart wrenching...loved it...

Nocturnal Pulse
Member

since 2010-08-12

Posts 84
Australia

9 posted 2012-01-27 08:37 AM

What a coincidence I entitled a poem 'Surrender' not a few days prior to this.

Surprisingly uplifting, whether or not that was the desired effect, bravo and good writing!

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

10 posted 2012-01-27 03:24 PM

Oh, I loved this icebox ... so much said in so few words. It's visual and moving, well done indeed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

11 posted 2012-01-27 04:46 PM

A powerful little poem, Mr. Ice. Gives one much to think about.
Ida

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

12 posted 2012-01-29 04:32 PM

Thank you all for your time and kind thoughts.

c.

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

13 posted 2013-07-15 01:23 AM

Found this treasure... great writing!
-Coco-

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

14 posted 2013-07-23 11:07 PM

fine writing...James

Namyh
Senior Member

since 2009-01-20

Posts 988

15 posted 2013-07-25 04:59 PM

icebox - There's a little something here for everybody to consider. I liked "emotion's shopworn souvenirs". Live long enough and we end up carrying plenty of those. Enjoyed. Namyh

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

16 posted 2013-07-26 11:19 PM

Baggage....

we all have it.

You've expressed it with
excellence.

And...what Kit said.

Angel4aKing
Senior Member

since 2006-09-27

Posts 1372
USA

17 posted 2013-07-29 01:08 AM

Really do enjoy reading your poems....very profound,,,,

~~~kingsangel~~~

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

18 posted 2013-07-29 06:51 AM

Said as only Charly can! For some reason or other we put them down but then pick them up again. We are a weird race!

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

19 posted 2013-07-29 08:23 AM

Icebox Charly! Seems everyone has commented here, not one for following the crowd I peeked in anyway.

Powerful piece that really struck me where I live.

"no solace for my anguished soul,
I find emotion's shopworn souvenirs
too tedious to carry."

How do you set those souvenirs down? Answer me that.

Lori

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