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Open Poetry #48
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California

0 posted 2013-11-23 09:01 PM



Virtues


I count the ways that virtues swell,
Lying in my decadent cell;
Rise once again to give my best
This misbegotten, broken quest.

What the eyes see, what the heart feels,
What the brain thinks— none of it's real.
What the night tells, what the dark brings,
That still foreboding silence sings...

That is the truth— that is the lie
I've shaped this damned existence by.
That is my guide, the only way
I live to face another day.

A trail of bones behind me, grim.
I think of you, you think of him;
As I tighten this shadow's stole,
And slowly cross the Plains of Scheol.

To finally see that the true cost
Is assessed in our virtues lost.
To finally come to understand
It's by our own measure we're damned.

To finally grieve all I've forsook
To reach this dry, desolate brook.
To turn and walk the way it harrows
Up my path of lost tomorrows.



Michael Anderson

11/23/2013

© Copyright 2013 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
1 posted 2013-11-24 02:18 AM


i love the deep and true philosophy of the words, thanks for the poeem,


yann

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
2 posted 2013-11-24 05:50 PM


If 2islander2 hadn't said it, I believe I would have.
Enjoyed this, my friend.

j.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
3 posted 2013-11-26 01:29 AM


I think this is one of your best, Michael.
                          Ida

KentAshbyKorb
Member
since 2013-05-05
Posts 99
Nc USA
4 posted 2013-11-26 02:10 AM


Excellent poem to say the least! It is virtuous verse!
KentAshbyKorb
Member
since 2013-05-05
Posts 99
Nc USA
5 posted 2013-11-26 02:18 AM


Maybe? And I say this tentatively, maybe "this is the truth, that is the lie?" I only suggest this because you then follow by repeating "that" in the following line. It might eliminate a smidgen of redundancy from the stanza while also conveying the notion that we own our truth and to say "this" sounds slightly more possessive and a little closer to the narrators ownership. I.e "this belongs to me and that belongs to you. "I think of you, you think of him." Your desire for her truth, her desire for him a lie! But all this said what an excellent poem!
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
6 posted 2013-11-30 05:43 PM


Thank you each and all for the kind replies.  

In responce to your assertion, Kent, I fully understand you're desire for clarification... the need to separate two things which "should" be different, if not completely opposite each other.

I do not typically care to elaborate on my poetry often, so without getting too detailed, let me just say this... if one man's truth is perceived as a lie to the world around him— to all whom he cares about, is it truthfully then the truth?  A lie?  Both? Neither?  It is, to him, as he perceives it, whether anyone else understands or not.  At such times, the most sane person in the world will begin to question his judgement.

One other note.  On the line.

"I think of you, you think of him."

The "him" is the man she at one time perceived me to be, although she no longer holds that view.  I see myself as the same person, but there again, that is my truth... as well as my lie.  If they are not one and the same, it has become impossible for me to tell the difference.

Apologies if I have not clarified, and only convoluted.  That was not my intent, though it is an apt description of my thought process of late.  :/

Michael

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2013-12-10 10:22 PM


fine writing...James
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
8 posted 2013-12-11 06:37 AM


To finally come to understand
It's by our own measure we're damned.


Masterfully elaborated thoughts, dear Michael.  And the conclusion is the truth no doubt.

Margherita

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
9 posted 2013-12-11 02:03 PM


"I think of you, you think of him.

The "him" is the man she at one time perceived me to be, although she no longer holds that view.  I see myself as the same person, but there again, that is my truth... as well as my lie.  If they are not one and the same, it has become impossible for me to tell the difference."

I could relate to this.

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