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Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 2013-08-23 01:27 PM

Half a yard, half a yard,
Half a yard onward,
Into the jungle of grass,
He rode the lawnmower
Forward the Sears Craftsman
"Aim for the fence!" he said:
Into the jungle of grass
He rode the lawnmower.

Forward the lawnmower,
Was he a bit worried?
Not tho' the husband knew,
What his wife made him do:
His not to make reply,
Nor for him to reason why,
His but to do with a shrug and a sigh.
Into the jungle of grass
Rode the lawnmower.

Mosquitoes to the right of him,
Mosquitoes to the left of him,
Mosquitoes in front of him,
Dive bombed and bitten,
T'was like the Battle of Brittain,
Boldly he rode, whil'st on the Craftsman still sittin'
Into the swarm of mosquitoes,
Spewing forth words best not written,
He rode the lawnmower.

His neck and arms bare,
Wishin' he t'wasn't there,
From his mouth a loud swear,
As he swatted skeeters, while
All the neighbor kids wondered,
Was he having a stroke,
Or even possibly would croak?
Another wave of mosquitoes
His spirit was broke,
Shatter'd and sunder'd
As he got off the Craftsman.

Mosquitoes to the right of him,
Mosquitoes to the left of him,
Mosquitoes behind him,
Dive bombed and bitten,
Losin' many a blood cell,
When lawnmower and hero fell,
Him who had mowed grass well,
Came thro' thick swarms of skeeters,
Their bloodsuckin' mouths of hell,
All that was left in the yard,
Was left the lawnmower.

When can his glory fade?
In the valiant effort he made,
As the kids still all wondered
At the words he had said,
Honor noble husband,
And his noble lawnmower.

After one the wettest and coolest Kansas summers ever, mowing the lawn twice a week is a true pleasure.

[This message has been edited by Tim (08-23-2013 02:53 PM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2013-08-23 05:58 PM

Harhar, too cute. Gotta love that craftsman, and his noble driver. It's a jungle out there alright!! Harhar

Enoyed so much!!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2013-08-23 06:46 PM

Damn! You had me scratching and sweating as I read along with the man and his skeeters. Well, not really, but I did sympathize with him, because I have been there in days past, skeeters and all.

~*~ What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. ~*~

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

3 posted 2013-08-24 04:12 PM

Rofl... this was a great ride, Tim... and one most any married man surely can relate to. I'm sure old Al would have been proud of this effort.

Michael

JLHunter
Senior Member

since 2006-10-08

Posts 557
CA United States

4 posted 2013-09-05 11:03 AM

Tim,

That was truly a clever write. I was actually trying NOT to laugh as I now have an injury that makes me howl in pain--but it was worth it. Jolly good, old chap, as Lord Tennyson might have said.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

5 posted 2013-09-05 01:00 PM

Very clever. Lord Tennyson would be proud.
Ida

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