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Open Poetry #48
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Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia

0 posted 2013-06-27 04:30 AM


I don't know what you will think about it...
This is my translation (rather free) of a song by E. Krylatov and L. Derbenyov called "Ne pokiday" ("Do not forsake"), the song from the children's film of the same name. I'm not sure that it's a successful endeavor, but I tried to do my best, because I like the song very much. So here it is.


Do not forsake


You may fly above the starlight
You may walk around the Earth
But I plead, don’t leave me, darling
Be my angel till the death

Anytime, in every season
Through the day and through the night
Don’t forget, you are my breathing
Don’t forget, you are my life


At starlit midnight
In the light of day
Please never leave me
Do not forsake

The world may vanish
All the friends may go
I won’t survive
Without you
My love


Life confusing, love forgotten
Make you suffer and mistake
But even for a single moment
Beg you, please do not forsake

Searching hard for any reason
In the dark, bereft of hope
Don’t forget, you are my breathing
Don’t forget, you are my all


At starlit midnight
In the light of day
Please never leave me
Do not forsake

The skies may fall in
And love betray
You are my call
To try it all again


25/06/2013


I couldn,t find a link to the original song on Youtube (without an advertisement), so I made a clip myself, and you can listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiGlcV4Ln2M



© Copyright 2013 Galina Italyanskaya - All Rights Reserved
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
1 posted 2013-06-27 05:55 AM


That's it!  Don't ever expect me to call you Gale again when you have a name as beautiful as Galina Italyanskaya!!!

Beautiful sounding names fascinate me.  I wrote a poem about the names of 2 members of a Japanaese gymnastic team.  

I also wrote another one about the name of somebody called Tahira Mia - I can't remember who he or she (I think she) is - I know I heard it on TV because I didn't know how to spell it, and in that poem, I also included the name of a friend called Nangula Nafuka.  Nangula (who calls herself Nangy, but I refuse to call her that as I think Nangula - and particularly with her surname - is much more beautiful) is a young friend from another poetry forum.  I think she is about 19 now.  She lives in Namibia and we have emailed each other for some years now.  

What an amazing experience your video is, Galina!  Beautiful translation - there is no need to change it at all if you would rather not, but if you are agreeable to it, I would suggest a few very minor changes to make it perfect English - I would never have mentioned that, but with the MAGNIFICENT video you made, I think it deserves that - I don't have time to help with that now (not that it would take long - but I shouldn't even be in Pip now as I have so much work pressure from my boss (me), but if you would like me to help with that, I can make the time - possibly tonight) - the singer's voice is to die for, and I LOVED hearing him singing it in Russian, and those images, WOW! WOW! WOW!  And sorry, but here comes another WOW!  It insisted of its own accord!

I see that you have 17 videos.  I haven't the time to open them now, but will in bits when I can make the time.

    Owl
      
    ^_^
   (0,0)
   (   )
  --,,--


Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
2 posted 2013-06-27 06:31 AM


Thank you, Owl!
I don't know if I can change it, but I would like to know what changes you mean. Tell me please )

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
3 posted 2013-06-27 06:42 AM


It's fine the way it is.  The changes are just little ones.  I will make time tonight to do so, or as soon after that as possible.  Smiles.

Owl

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
4 posted 2013-06-27 06:57 AM


Ok.
I'm about to spend the rest of this week in the forest. So I'll be able to reply just after I come back.
Talk soon!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
5 posted 2013-06-27 07:48 AM


Hi Gale. There is a song over here by the name of "Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling." It is a very old song. I liked your translation very much on your song and the video especially was good. I appreciated reading and watching.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2013-06-27 11:04 AM


In the forest?  Oh, how absolutely gorgeous!  Enjoy!!!  I'll email those little things, but it is still lovely the way it is!

Owl

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
7 posted 2013-07-01 04:42 PM


Thank you, Jerry )

I never heard that song you told me about, but I'll find it and listen )

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
8 posted 2013-07-01 05:12 PM


Owl,
yes, in the forest, and I've come back
I've read your letter and will reply it soon.
I just want to thank you here. You're right, I think, there can be some grammatical mistakes in my poems. But there is a reason why I can't change them. I don't write verses as I wrote exercises at school. I write them in a different state of mind, in one go, I can't control the process completely, sonner it controls me. And each my poem reflects me as I am at the moment (including my level of English ). And I think that it's true. If I try to change something, I will kill everything. It's hard.
But anyway if you notice any mistake, you may tell me. I would like to be informed )

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
9 posted 2013-07-02 06:30 PM


I understand completely, Gale.  I also don't change my poetry when others suggest it, because then it wouldn't feel like mine or what I was feeling at the time I wrote it - and, as I said, your poem and video are absolutely lovely as they are.  Smiles.  I have read your lovely email and I am busy replying to it now.  Perhaps I will only finish it tomorrow as it is late and I am tired, but once I start talking - especially in an email, it is difficult for me to stop.  Smiles.

See you in the email tonight or tomorrow.

Owl

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
10 posted 2013-07-03 04:31 AM


You understand me!
Thank you, Owl )

Lovely icon!

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