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Murder
| Open Poetry #48 |
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Murder |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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I lived in a house painted over with thick coats of bitterness and bile the grand dame's face was coiled with uncaged anger took me a long, long time to understand why I only knew the phrase spare the rod, spoil the child I was only fourteen but at fourteen I was older than they thought my parents quiet father (severely hen-pecked) dominating mother who carried a big stick and used it my parents husband and wife who had hidden so many things from each other there was nothing left for them to say my mother was a murderer if you've never wandered along at the site of a freshly committed murder you don't really know the feeling of restless unease she murdered my heart the scratches she'd left on my face have faded the cuts on my back and legs have healed but the stake she'd driven through my heart is still there ©June 12, 2013 / Jerry at Bolton ~*~ A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.-John Burroughs ~*~ |
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| © Copyright 2013 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Sad story indeed. Sorry you have to live this type of life.sincerely, jo |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
It was a long time ago, jo, but time does not heal. Thank you for you kind words. ~*~ A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.-John Burroughs ~*~ |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Time does not heal, forgiveness does. Forgivness is for the forgiver, not the forgiven. Forgiveness does not condone or deem acceptable the unimaginable painful actions of others. Forgiveness neutralizes the bitterness of hurt and hate. No, one never forgets but the thorn can be removed so it no longer festers. Your biological mother is very proud of you. Your other mother can only hurt you now, if you let her my dear friend. I wish I had more comfort to offer you. Lori  |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Oh, your words have comforted me far more than you might realize, Lori. Thank you, thank you very much. ~*~ A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.-John Burroughs ~*~ |
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EmmaRose Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376Midwest |
thanks for some insight into the poet who has written superbly about some solemn, painful life events. this sertainly gives the reader a revealing look beneath that veil of pain sorry you need to write it at all  |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I hear you, EmmaRose, about the need to write about my past. Some might say, just move on. It's a done deal, look to the future. But I have moved on. The thing is, the specter of those days and what they wrought as far as my way of thinking, looms over me and will, I think until I take my last breath. ~*~ A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.-John Burroughs ~*~ |
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EmmaRose Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376Midwest |
As they say 'until someone walks in your shoes' yes I know they say move on, I believe that too, but it's your albatross, no one else's, though I pray somehow you have made pease to some degree. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I have made peace to some degree, EmmaRose, but as you say it is an albatross and it visits me from time to time, pushing me to acknowledge it, therefore the poem. ~*~ A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.-John Burroughs ~*~ |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
So sad, Jerry, and I'm sorry you had to endure it. It seems to me that the past haunts more the older we get. So many times we say "if only" but finally we come to the conclusion that it was what it was and so many of us don't actually know what we're doing when we're doing it. My past "sins" for lack of a better word weren't so very bad but enough for me to know that I should have given them more thought at the time. I try my best to apply that to other people which helps even if there isn't total forgiveness - but I'm working on that. Helen |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Helen, I hear you loud and clear about our own past sins. I am convinced that my mother was the indirect cause of how i viewed woman during what I refer to my lost decades. I was determined never to allow a woman treat me the way my father was treated, and it affected my relationships with women, some very good women, even the wife and mother who gave me a daughter and a son. It took me a long time to realize that when a woman made a suggestion to me it wasn't that she was trying to re-plan my whole life, she was merely suggesting something related to what we were doing. I feel I am rambling so I will stop, but not before I thank you for your kind and informative thoughts. ~*~ A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.-John Burroughs ~*~ |
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Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
JerryP - So very happy you've moved on. We can spend a lifetime trying to heal our past wounds if we don't. Somewhere in between all of this is the poet who will write of it and give hope to the reader wanting to moved on but hasn't. Poets are indeed hope-givers. Thanks for sharing this piece JP. It might just help pull someone out of a pit of wounds and prevent 'murder'. Namyh |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I so appreciate your genuine input concerning my poem, Namyh. I write because there are times I have to write about these things. I have quit feeling sorry for myself, but there are just certain times when I have to expel my thoughts about my childhood. I would hope, as you said, someone might read my words and find that they give them peace and hope for the future. Thank you for being here, my friend. ~*~ A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.-John Burroughs ~*~ |
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MorningStar Member
since 2009-10-26
Posts 290Pittsburgh, Pa |
Oh, Jerry. You could be talking about me. Me and my Dad. Every now and then I visit my own crime scene - and I know that so much more than my heart died in that place. It's taken a lot of work and much time before I could say that those moments may have shaped me - but they don't define me. But even though you rebuild you never do forget the terrible thing that happened there. Thank you for sharing this. For me it felt like taking flowers to a memorial site.... "I'll tell you how the sun rose A ribbon at a time..." - Emily Dickinson |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I am so sorry that you could relate to my poem, MorningStar. My mother destroyed much within me, and it took a very long time (I call them my lost decades) for me to honestly reach out to a woman without thinking she was evil to the nth. I lost my chances at a normal life with a woman (I had three wives and numerous "live-ins.") Thank you for being here this morning, MorningStar, I greatly appreciate it. ~*~ A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.--John Burroughs ~*~ |
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