On Love and May - pipTalk Forums

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Open Poetry #48

On Love and May

davidicarmel
New Member

since 2013-05-28

Posts 2

0 posted 2013-05-28 01:03 AM

you're like sweet honey on my lips, passing time with you is an endless gift/ the stars and heavens open for you, thunder and lightning roar as the rain falls behind you/

you're the pillow I rest on, you light up this whole room, my father waits for me by the stairs, but I'm still waiting up for you/ my heads racing, I'll let you know how hard I tried, you're my favorite gift, you're the only one tonight/

You're the morning sun, the bright colors across the sky, the rain begins to fall on you, and i whisper how hard I'll try

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2013-05-28 10:25 PM

Dear David,

Welcome to Passions!

Please check your email for a very special greeting. Please know that I've taken a bit of license in revising your poem given its' breaks, and hopefully it will please your senses as it has pleased mine in it's overall gift.

"The business of the poet...is to show the sorriness underlying the grandest things and the grandeur underlying the sorriest things." Thomas Hardy

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2013-05-29 01:32 AM

Nice...James

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

3 posted 2013-05-29 03:22 PM

Sounds like it could definitely be love and...

quote:
my father waits for me by the stairs, but I'm still waiting up for you...

Ha! This sounds like me with my children. Enjoyed! and, yes, Welcome to the Blue Pages!

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