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Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

0 posted 2013-02-11 04:01 PM

Soft and as smooth as velveteen;
while touching gently here and there,
Reflection within eyes of sheen,
gentle whispers of wind in hair.

Creeping over flaxen skin,
is the scent of lilac rain;
Flowing like a violin,
as golden water lilies wane.

The scent of passion in the breeze;
intoxicating senses of mine,
While like a feather softly tease,
arousing as burgundy wine.

Bathing in the warmth of night
are burning lips of soft moonlight.

~Victoria

[This message has been edited by Victoria (02-12-2013 09:56 PM).]

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2013-02-11 04:36 PM

Ah, that burgundy wine does arouse, does it not, Victoria? You knew I'd zero in on that. However, the rest of this lovely sonnet captured my fancy long before I got to that line.

The verses compliment each other as you dramatize the features of eyes and hair and lovely skin. You give the poem more depth by introducing the "lips of soft moonlight." Superb writing!

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2013-02-11 05:01 PM

I love the adjectives you use to evoke the scents of smell and touch
This is delcious
Liz

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

3 posted 2013-02-11 05:02 PM

Thank you so much...Im been busy writing and reading your book today...and now its time to cook dinner...glad you enjoyed Jerry.

~Victoria

[This message has been edited by Victoria (02-11-2013 06:25 PM).]

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

4 posted 2013-02-11 06:24 PM

Thank you Elizabeth,and thank you for peeking in and commenting...glad you enjoyed.

~Victoria

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
Confucius

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

5 posted 2013-02-12 04:22 AM

Love the last two lines, Victoria, but the whole poem is captivating.

Helen

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

6 posted 2013-02-12 08:48 AM

Thank you dear Helen, always nice hearing from you. Hope you have a nice day.

~Victoria

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
Confucius

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

7 posted 2013-02-13 01:25 AM

i love specially the delicate sensations of the poem,
i think this is what we can live when ours senses are toatlly opened in nature,
thanks victoria for the exquisite right and its sweet atmosphere,

yann

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

8 posted 2013-02-13 11:17 AM

Thank you yann...I am happy you enjoyed and for taking time to read.

~Victoria

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