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Open Poetry #48

Suess on Sagen

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

0 posted 2013-02-05 06:16 AM

Pin pricks and pinwheels
abound in the sky,
and students asked teacher
We don't know just why?
If space by its nature is empty...
Just space,
Then why does it seem like
A busier place.
Planets and pulsars, the milkiest way,
To many to count,
in a year, and a day.

It's true, said the teacher,
With a smile and a nod,
Stars bunched together
like peas in a pod.
But dear children,
it's not what it seems...
The vastness of space,
is the space in between.

Is this heaven?

shoeless Joe Jackson.

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

1 posted 2013-02-05 04:55 PM

Cute write and nice rhythm Olias. Enjoyed.
~Victoria

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
Confucius

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

2 posted 2013-02-06 05:35 AM

Thank you for reading, and the kind Post Victoria,

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2013-02-06 08:31 AM

I could just see this as a children's book with illustrations. (I am a former teacher and substitute now in elementary schools.)

Nicely done.

M

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2013-02-06 10:23 AM

Very nice work, Olias!

Margherita

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

5 posted 2013-02-06 07:49 PM

Thank you Nakdthoughts and Margherita for your kind words, much appreciated, all the best to you.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

6 posted 2013-02-08 09:39 PM

****applause****

I'm really loving your poetry!!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

7 posted 2013-02-09 09:01 AM

I'm not a teacher but heartily agree with nakdthoughts... well done.

j.

LorienLord
Member

since 2013-02-03

Posts 55
Wisconsin USA

8 posted 2013-02-12 06:34 PM

I love Dr. Suess and you certainly do him justice with this amusing poem.

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