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EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

0 posted 2012-02-06 08:19 PM

Driving home, the
road blurs, the multiple
trees linking arms, I
start to detach from you
lost in their lullabye

you come back to me
pulling yourself out from my fugue
in an out of focus
a tap on the shoulder
from the road's redundancy

laying there
tenderly upon a mother's breast
I hold you near, transcending
the sky that surrounds us

wanting to cradle you
upon my shoulder

wanting to wipe your tears,
though no longer yours alone,
they seep through the apathy
thats calloused my heart eyes

as you lay for dead
staining the hynotic miles
of a stoic highway

cruelly, the winds flapping your
wings, in the harsh air
of a February mourning

[This message has been edited by EmmaRose (02-07-2012 07:42 AM).]

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2012-02-06 08:37 PM

WoW! Took me on a ride that I didn't care to take. This was a well-thought-out and wonderfully, if sadly, told.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

2 posted 2012-02-07 02:32 AM

very vivid and the ending was definitely not what I expected, well done!

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
— W. E. Channing

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

3 posted 2012-02-07 04:22 AM

I feel your ache, EmmaRose, through your exquisite poem. I am so sorry for your pain.

Owl

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

4 posted 2012-02-07 08:56 AM

Excellent work, E.R.
The subject is cruel, as cruel as life gets.
But we must write the dark parts
as well as the light.
You have proven you are worthy of the title,
"Poet" by this work..

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

5 posted 2012-02-07 11:50 AM

quote:
they seep through the apathy
thats calloused my heart eyes

Incredibly intense work.

Margherita

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

6 posted 2012-02-07 05:45 PM

Just wanted you to know I read this (usually do) several times, and hate to admit it, but still not sure what you're saying. I tried multiple times, to glean a clue from everyone else' comments and am still left in the dark. Oh, I sort of understand the overall 'theme', but can't peg the base.

Sorry, my loss --- I'm going to blame the cough syrup I'm taking. I do like the wording and overall flow, as with most everything you produce, but that dog-puckey cough syrup as muddled my understanding....

j.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA