Of Circuses and Flying High

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OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

0 posted 2012-09-12 10:03 AM

OF CIRCUSES AND FLYING HIGH
13 September 2012

Love is
walking tall,
fragile,
exposed,
uncertain,
on a tightrope
and flying terrifyingly high
on a trapeze,
trusting a partner to catch you,
and when your partner fails you,
crashing without a net
and stumbling up,
bruised and braindead,
doing the same stupid thing
over and over again
with the same person
and expecting different results.

Not being loved
is deliciously, vicariously book-safe,
smile-secure,
boundary-free,
knowledge-unbound,
sun-warm
and incomprehensibly happy
if one is strong enough
to make one’s own happiness.

I have savoured love and solitude, both,
and yes, I found both to be enriching –
love is exhilarating, unpredictable, dangerous, validating, deep-eye cuddle-soft;
and solitude is soul-song, as wild as the wind, as strong as an oak, and as wide and as high and as free as the sky;
but solitude is better for me
and more real,
because there is none to love me anymore;
and because I trust myself;
and because I am strong enough
to hold my head up high
and fly solo, wild and free,
and make my own happiness
like a yellow-billed kite playing in the thermals.

Perhaps why I manage so easily
without a man to know and love me
is because I have so much already –

the sun on my shoulders embraces me;
the colours on dragonflies’ gossamer wings enchant me;
the blues of distant mountain ranges enthral me;
summer rains soaking softly into my soul, awaken me;
blue skies with fluffy little clouds delight me;
colours and a million million nuances of light and shadow touch me;
voices of children playing beguile me;
music of birds and frogs and wind and sea and Chopin and Katie Melua inspire me;
boundless ponderings and memories engross me;
deep soul-poetry sings to me;
voices of yore whisper to me;
books invite me;
scent of acacia blossoms permeate me;
orange flowers scattered all over my Erythrina lysistemon tree float me;
my dance with my will power strengthens me;
and my animals on Earth and in Heaven adore me as much as I do them.

Would that everyone were as blessed as I!

Owl

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2012-09-12 10:16 AM

Given the choice, I'd choose love, even with all its risks... for in my experience, solitude... at least extended solitude... and loneliness too often go hand in hand. *S*

But you have painted such a beautiful picture of solitude, of self-awareness & finding fulfillment without the pitfalls of dependence... And that's really the key, isn't it?? Finding what works for one's self? *S*

Absolutely beautiful write!

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

2 posted 2012-09-12 10:27 AM

Thanks Ruth, for your delightful reply, and for understanding so well (but then you always do, don't you?).

Giggles - I don't have a choice, of course - but I can just as well be happy with my lot, while I am at it - and I am! And, rollercoaster rides have never been for me, anyway, lol - I have never and will never go on a real one - and didn't enjoy the downs of the metaphorical ones, and think I have (at last, lol!) learned a lesson or two about burning one's fingers on the stove (I am sure you will forgive the cliché)!

Owl

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2012-09-12 06:06 PM

Your thoughts are deep and wise, Diana and I agree, there is something to be said for solitude if one will only be still and embrace it.
Ida

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

4 posted 2012-09-12 06:10 PM

Thank you for finding my thoughts deep and wise, Ida. I am honoured that you think so. Yes, I have written quite a bit to solitude in my time, and it is a warm and faithful friend. Smiles.

Owl

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

5 posted 2012-09-13 12:34 PM

"If one is strong enough to make their own happiness"

Someone once told me that your hapiness should never be dependant on someone else. Only when you are happy with who you are on a personal level, can you expect to truly be happy, and capable of sharing that happiness and/or having it enhanced by someone else. But then what do I know? Someone else tolf me I should never use the word "should." lol

A nice, and probably much needed, purge of emotion here, Owl. I only offered my little piece of advise because deciding that you can only be happy by forsaking love all together is something I've had way too much experience with, and with dark results. I would caution against that line of thinking. Enjoyed the trip though.

Michael

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

6 posted 2012-09-13 01:14 AM

Thank you, Michael. I enjoyed your ponderings and philosophy. I'm not exactly forsaking love - just don't have it and am making the best of things the way they are, and it sure is easier firstly without it and secondly being happy without it - no disappointments on the cards, for a start, lol. Smiles.

Owl

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

7 posted 2012-09-15 08:37 AM

Owl, your writing has wings! It flew upon the many questions I have been asking. I, too, am exhilarated by
nature around me about 94% of the time. The other 6% of the time? And sometimes, the 94% drops down to a low ebb, but it is improving! Your thoughts are deeply felt.

Miscellanea

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

8 posted 2012-09-15 10:50 AM

What a beautiful, delightful, brave and touching reply, Miscellanea.

Hugs
Owl

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