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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

0 posted 2012-08-31 06:30 AM

That time of year again
when her grief
takes her apart
in pieces
of memories
ravaged by denial
She becomes again
“my little one”
missing her daddy
Finally letting go
of the notion
it was her fault
he died
because of all those times
she wished he was dead
This time she needs
to blame me
because I left him
He always told her
he'd die if I did
The heart attack
six month later
came as no surprise
It had taken years
to realize I couldn't
keep him alive
if he didn't care
about living
and was sucking
the life out of me
One of us had to
survive for her
To be there to help
the healing begin
And to carry the guilt
of all the damage done
because I stayed
too long.
I don't blame her
for hating me
in her grief
Someday
she may understand
that his death came
as a relief
And the only
unselfish thing
he ever did.
LGR(C)8/31/12

TreasureFort
Junior Member

since 2012-08-30

Posts 15

1 posted 2012-08-31 07:21 AM

quite sad.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2012-08-31 07:28 AM

Impressive, dear Lori, very very impressive and sad yes, but so transparent and honest in the reflections of our human nature. Too many probably relate ... but how many would admit it?

Margherita

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2012-08-31 07:45 AM

Poetry. It brings out the absolute honest in all of us it seems. This is sad, but courageous.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

4 posted 2012-08-31 08:32 AM

TreasureFort, thanks for giving me a read. And yes it is quite sad for her.

Margerhita, it was hard to admit for too many precious years. But once you come to terms with the truth, it is not so hard to tell.

Thanks Jerry for reminding me it did take courage to admit I was a coward. Bless your heart

Lori

Jerry

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

5 posted 2012-08-31 01:12 PM

Powerful write, Lori.
Ida

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

6 posted 2012-08-31 01:24 PM

Thanks Ida, I have a lot of junk stirred up and I thought the best place to put it was on paper.

Lori

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

7 posted 2012-08-31 05:28 PM

Wow...
Lump in my throat.
Blessings.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

8 posted 2012-08-31 05:34 PM

It's a shame that one can think of another that way ("...the only
unselfish thing
he ever did.") but it's brought on by themselves and only hurts those left behind.

Touching write, my friend. Unfortunately life isn't always grins and smiles.

j.

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

9 posted 2012-09-01 08:16 AM

Thanks JL, me too sometimes still.
Lori

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

10 posted 2012-09-01 08:19 AM

J - No it isn't, but it is still worth living and loving.....

Lori

Startime1955
Senior Member

since 2012-04-22

Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada

11 posted 2012-09-01 12:50 PM

WOW!!! This poem went right to the heart...I can feel it and understand...*BIG HUGS*

*may our dreams ever be magical*

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

12 posted 2012-09-01 04:57 PM

Bless you heart then! Hugs!

Lori

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

13 posted 2012-09-11 03:24 PM

It had taken years
to realize I couldn't
keep him alive
if he didn't care
about living

What powerful words these are... it is so hard to accept that sometimes all you can do isn't nearly enough - and your choice is saving yourself or sliding into the abyss along with them... and whatever you choose is bound to cause repercussions. This touches my heart!

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

14 posted 2012-09-11 05:32 PM

Southern, you said it. I can tell you truely understand this. Someday I hope my daughter will. Thanks for commenting

Lori

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