Open Poetry #46 |
A Fare (Fair) Decision |
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Waiting… watching… where infinity lies with dispassionate eyes a timeless stare that fails to care of hope less plans, the fortunes of man and the meaningless trivial pursuits of unsowed seedless fruits Such is his view of countless victims oblivious to oblivion’s tendrils of tenuous fate and empty promises it’s not part of the job to plant such dreams for he is not what he seems the casual observer the herder of murder accident disease and time Waiting… collecting the line watching… for bus number nine he sits in shadows of sunshine and critiques the divine “To what end do they pretend? this fabric they mend these meaningless bits of tapestry sewn by celestial design destined for the touch of mine? do their shades color the thread so richly as to render it real? I think not for I have pulled my fair share of thread and found it none the less in feel” “And yet…” “As I sit to collect the toll of accident with nigh time what’s soon to be mine by bus nine I think perhaps not yet… for the tapestry looks faded a bit degraded with too many threads pulled and culled an image mulled to near gray in my eye so, perhaps not yet…” “For who says I must sit and await said threaded fate that, could come late perhaps I’ll save this picture for another date and give the thread but a tug a shudder a shrug a ripple in the rug to knock aside a little dust and let the color shine through for who would say it’s not my due by these things I do to keep the hue?” “So, perhaps not yet my mortal one your time is not done under this setting sun time to reconsider what is for dinner let your arrival be late and miss this turbulent fate for I have others to touch and we shall meet upon some other misfortune” Thus, departs the harbinger of doom with duties to resume as number nine bus misses its faire but takes its share by poor coronary care and a driver dead on arrival to the six o’clock news which reports a near miss of passenger in remiss for the night’s fare the lucky lady who’s left to ponder the fate of bench mate the blind old man she left sitting there |
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© Copyright 2010 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
terribly sad wow |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Amazing work....been way too long but I'm glad to read you again, sir. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Deer and Shadow... thank you for passing through. Your read and words are much appreciated. Perhaps some explaining is due for this piece. I wrote this as if it were an old Twilight Zone episode. Rod standing off to the side, letting us know that the blind old man on the bus stop bench is really that final angle who comes to "collect" us all. But as he awaits the soon out-of-control bus he starts to contemplate the Greater Being's design and could he do something to "brighten" the general picture. Rather than await the tragic fate of the young lady who he is sitting next to, Death sets a few things in motion that cause his "bench mate" to rethink what she has planned for dinner. The result is this near miss reported by the evening news along with a mystery of what happened to the old man that had been sitting there just before the bus went out of control. As for the title... well, there is a lot of different ways we can read the word fair/fare. Give it some thought. Food, payment, color, equality, making a choice. Anyway, perhaps my ramblings will help with the understanding of this one. Its been quite some time since I visited these halls and I'm hoping to be a little more in touch. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
Well welcome back, enjoyed reading this and thanks for the explanation and thank you for the great poem.. Goldenrose. |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
so sad andrew, vibrant write have a nice day yann |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Remind me to stay off Bus 9, especially if there's a chance a young lady is gonna be sitting next to me. Those bus stops can be murder. well done, Andrew. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Goldenrose, Islander, and LJA... thanks for read and write. Some have commented that this has a sad quality... hmmm... perhaps... but I wonder more at the idea of Death saving a life. He knows that at some point he's going to collect this soul, but why now? Does his decision not to make a significant change in the fabric of humanity and the design of the Greater Being? Was his decision already woven into the picture? Does Death really have free-will to make such decisions? If you take a western view of such things, angles aren't suppose to have free-will. At least that is my completely uneducated understanding. LJA: As for staying off Bus #9, if it's going to happen... better with a pretty young lady at your side than not. Thanks again to one and all. Peace. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (04-03-2010 10:56 PM).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Great writing Andrew. I did get that 'Twilight Zone' sense of it even prior to your explanation, so I'd say you were successful. You've been gone too long, Andrew. Hope to see more from you in the near future! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Denise, thanks for the read and write. Yep, it has been some time and I'm glad to know there are still those who remember. I'm going to try to be a little (a lot) more involved in these wonderous blue waters. I'm glad you were able to pick up on the feel of this one. Peace to you and yours. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
Your piece reminds me how fickle fate can be in choosing the time when someone lives or dies. That is my window. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
EB: Fair enough. Thanks for digging this one up. It was my first post in a veeeerrrryyyy long time. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Andrew, This is rather long, and too complex for me to follow. Bobby |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Dear Andrew, You have scared me from busses now for life Fabulous writing my friend, so enjoyed. Keep it up! Richard |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
REJ: No doubt, it's a long one with some complexity and no real structure. But I appreciate the attempted read. Richy: Thank you kind sir. Your words are the coin of the realm and I accept them with gratitude. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is a powerful write that leaves one pondering on fate. Just watched "Armaggedon" this evening and the threat of death touched everyone there ... but then it is a reality that sooner or later we shall experience. It's the unknown that scares us and our love bonds down here on Earth make us wish to postpone the moment and so we call for the Angels and I believe they do listen to our heartprayers. I love and appreciate how you developped this story. Very well done! Love, Margherita |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Andrew, this really is an amazing piece of work. You seem to be getting better and better. I always used to wonder about those people that would say: "Well, it must have been their time to go".....I've always thought, "Yea, whatever. Be my luck I'd be on a plane or bus with some guy that "it was just his time to go" [This message has been edited by Toerag (06-03-2010 12:32 PM).] |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Margherita: I bow to you and yours, with gratitude for your kindness in read and write. I wrote this with the eye of thinking that none of us really recognize how close we come to an untimely end, each and every day. Toe, just as long as I only “seem” to be getting better… setting the bar too high only helps me win at dancing the limbo. As for the bus or plane, and sitting next to said unfortunate… I like to use that analogy with my 4th grade class. All it takes is one person to crash the airplane for everybody to die. Good… bad… you all suffer the consequences. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Andrew Wonderful poem my friend and I second all the things that Margherita had to say. Take care. Lindsay |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Hello, Mr. Scott~ Been reading through your poem and your numerous comments.. yes your poem is quite meaty and has a lot to digest; I read it through slowly a number of times, and your explanation, too. I must say I do like your poetic turns, as in `give the thread but a tug, a shudder, a shrug, a ripple in the rug`, etc.. inventive and effective =) Yes, death is one of the great themes, isn`t it.. there is much to ponder..yet you conclude the poem in an optimistic way, with Death actually taking pity on a mortal.. (oh how I wish it were so!).. so the reader is left with an image of hopefulness, not sorrow. =) I want to thank you for your kind comments on my work, truly means a lot! Be well, be free.. ~Amaryllis |
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