Open Poetry #46 |
A Moonlight Night |
LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
A Moonlight Night It was on a brilliant moonlight night When a gentle wind passed through the trees And the scent of Spring came drifting On that sweet mild evening breeze. The lake was a shimmer of crystal Reflecting the rays of the moon And the curlews call in the distance A sweet sound that from none are immune. And as I paused and listened intently I could hear the swish of strong beating wings, Then the plaintive call of the elegant swans As sweet as when a caroling angel sings. They were heading away up northward To some far off inland lagoon, Their wings shone bright for a moment By the brilliant rays of the moon. Then as they disappeared into the distance A new sound o’er the lake was heard, The sound of some moonlight marauder The sharp screech of a nocturnal bird. A dog’s bark shatters the silence That totally seemed quite obscene, Then silence reigned again in the moonlight And the evening once again was serene. A moonlight night brings sheer enchantment, There is little that can equal its delight, Felt by all those who welcome & wonder About the magic of a bright moonlight night. Lindsay Wilson |
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© Copyright 2010 Lindsay P Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Lindsay, This is very nice. However, I would drop the ampersand and use plain old “and”. Bobby |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
The rhythm and rhyming of this piece were consistent and the imagery that was created was splendid. If anything I would tweek the two stanzas involving the disruption of sound as both of them mention that they were the first to interrupt the silence. Perhaps using a past perfect tense or some time marker would solve this problem. |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Such beautiful soft summery shimmer resonates in this evening poem, so soft and peaceful. I'm sitting here shivering from dropping temperatures and hail storms this evening, longing for the warmth of a summer's night again and moonlight. This makes me dream, Lindsay. I'd feel as if I were there if I didn't have goosebumps. Mesmerizing poetry! Karen |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
this has Australia written all over it, and gives it an authentic flavouring to the word feast you've given us, Lindsay, Jeff |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Splendid moonlight night you painted here for us, dear Lindsay. I love the imagery very much. It's a gift to be aware of the beauty that surrounds you. Love, Margherita |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
To my very good poet friends, Bobby, Earl, Karen, Jeff and Margherita, thank you so much dear friends for your kind comments and advice. A very happy day to you all God bless and take care. Lindsay |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Lovely poem, Lidsay. Ida |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
delicious Lindsay and so well written....Thanks for the enjoyable read. regards yann |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Beautifully written, wonderful images Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
To my very kind poet friends, Ida, Yann and Honeybee, thank you so much folks for reading my poem and giving it your generous comments, God bless you all. Lindsay |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Alison |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Hi Lindsay, that's a great poem mate, well done, very much enjoyed. Rick |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, this is lovely... every line is exquisite! *S* |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
To my very good friends, Alison, Rick and Ruth, thank you so much kind poets for your generous comments. It always gives me a warm feeling inside when other poets comment favourably on my poems. God bless and take care. Lindsay |
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