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Open Poetry #46
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Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610


0 posted 2010-08-27 11:34 AM



He wiped away tiers fell long ago
upon jagged edges and rucked scars
hoping it would scatter but not really
tender feelings so hard to swallow
these days

She would lay herself in between
where it was soft as pillows
"if you knew your way around"
slide curious fingers along his sigh
alert to melodical changes

Sometimes he would pause
allowing her warmth to fill
a fraction of need before
cloaking himself in the cold
of ambiguity
able to reap & gather yet
remain untouchable

Still she knew behind smoke
& mirrors lay promise,
nestling inside, she claimed
always

despite his never...


~Sunkissed

© Copyright 2010 R. T. M. - All Rights Reserved
easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
1 posted 2010-08-27 11:56 AM


"Tiers", indeed. This is a crafty write. There is a line from Dr. Strangelove that comes immediately to mind, but I shan't spoil the discovery there.

Thanks again, Sunkissed, for an interesting and stimulating read.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2010-08-27 12:02 PM


kewl in blue..enjoyed the wiggle weave of words
Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

3 posted 2010-08-27 12:21 PM


Easy1, you have the wheels in my mind turning. How about a hint? *smiles*  

Thanks for taking a gander and for your comment.

DS, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed!

~Sunkissed

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
4 posted 2010-08-27 03:35 PM


They're a couple of General Jack Ripper lines, deadpanned by Sterling Hayden at his comic best.

There in the movie they are used as a sign of lost sanity.

In your lovely poem, you paint the same distilled sentiment as much more tender, sort of a ronin or knight-errant spirit, partly of machismo, partly chivalry, partly hesitancy to commit emotionally, even deeply in love.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2010-08-27 04:55 PM


Not only is this write very elegant, it is also psichologically profound.

Love,
Margherita

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2010-08-27 06:53 PM


You write with such sensitivity and it's always a joy to read you.

Glad to know you haven't lost your touch, like fine china,  it's just as delicate as ever.

Warm hugs~

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

7 posted 2010-08-28 03:30 AM


yes a very delicate and elegant write ma'am

enjoyed your view....

Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

8 posted 2010-08-28 11:38 AM


Easy1, to quote you," In your lovely poem, you paint the same distilled sentiment as much more tender, sort of a ronin or knight-errant spirit, partly of machismo, partly chivalry, partly hesitancy to commit emotionally, even deeply in love."

You've managed to encapsulate all I was trying to convey with these words. Thank you!

Margherita, thank you! Elegant and profound, two words that in my opinion are truly a compliment to any poet.


Blues, so sweet of you to say such kind things about my work. It's good to see you name here. Thank you!

Captain, thank you for the read and the compliments. As you know, I write from the heart & this particular subject is dear to me.


~Sunkissed

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