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Open Poetry #46
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Once ...
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Once ... |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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Once … We used to chat then, you and I Of things and how and when and why We’d spin our webs with voice and word And talk of hopes and music heard Gift wrapped dreams were shared at dawn Captured breeze on laundried lawns Magic spells caught in cups of tea That’s how it was for you and me We once danced in forests dim Heard the choir of nightly hymns Moss caught the air like bridal veils Then swept us up on mizzen sails Secrets shared in foggy down Tripping over Royal Crown Those times now gone; I don’t know why We used to chat then, you and I - Alison 2/24/10 |
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| © Copyright 2010 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
You so fly. The past is lame. I don't like it one bit. This is really good. I liked it loads. Paul Fall in love early, fall in love often. |
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TinaTrivett Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569 |
Really like this one Allison. Nicely written. |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
I really dig the thoughts here and also wonder things like this. Your bro, me. |
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Dadygoose Member
since 2010-01-01
Posts 162A Communist country |
Dear Ali … I don’t know why, but I never thought of dreams as gift wrapped to be opened and shared in the morning. But I do now … Many of mine end up on Pip as “poems.” Thank you for this one. I can’t tell you what I read in this poem,m, but perhaps it can only be felt. This deserves more than 3 replies …later … J Hey, nobody's human! |
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Dadygoose Member
since 2010-01-01
Posts 162A Communist country |
Strong coffee and a dream with breakfast? Hey, nobody's human! |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Alison, This poem has good rhythm and rhyme. Love Bobby |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
although I typically find 'rhyme' to be a significant prison... there are good lines here. Unfortunately, I can especially relate to the beginning and ending sentiments ... well done! |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Yo dear Alison, I like your poem so warm and necesary, chatting with you seems enlighning... regards yann |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Okay first of all, you better put another beautiful picture of yourself up there Alison or else. You're not beyond being put over one's knee you know  You know what, this is my favorite of your's! I know I've been away for quite awhile but this is so different from what I'm used to reading from you. As much as I loved your writing before, it seems like your talent has evolved to a new level, how wonderful is that! Yes, once. It can be a good word, I suppose, but for me, it brings about change, not neccesarily for the better. I like how you used that theme in here. I loved everything about this. Even the rhyming scheme being off centered a bit, for me always makes the more melodius poem, seem that much more natural, and, magical. Wonderful job my friend! Richard |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Alison,I agree with Richy, this is one of your best. good write.latearrival |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Close to perfection, m'lady. How you have grown... |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Nothing ever stays the same, does it Alison? |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"Moss caught the air like bridal veils Then swept us up on mizzen sails" a dream of a poem Alison I agree one of your best |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Paul, You make me smile and feel good. Thank you. Sometimes the past really sucks. A - Tina, Thank you so much. xoxoxo A - Jerry, Thank you. So many people wander through our lives and once - so many of them were important. A - Jaime, Your responses always make me feel special. Thank you for reading my poems and taking the time to think about them. Glad you are back. Alison - Bobby, Thank you so much! A - Bruce, Thank you for reading - I really try to work within many styles of poetry. This one just came as I was sipping tea and thinking. Alison - Yann, Thank you so much. I am a fan of your poetry too. Alison - Richy, Thank you. I read your response and held it close for a few days. It is truly amazing to me that you took to enjoy my poems and recognize growth. I have to thank Balladeer for any growth. He's been amazing as he has taught me. Thank you again. Alison - late, Thank you so much. xoxoxo A - Michael, Thank you. I am going to have to look again and see where I can tweek to make this better. It kind of just spilled out of my heart the other night. Thank you for helping me become a stronger writer. xoxoxo Alison - Nope, nothing, Sue. Thank you. A - Kate, You are one reason that I stayed in PiP. I have always loved your poetry. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. xoxox A |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I love this Alison. One of your best. Gift wrapped dreams...what a lovely thought. Ida |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is exceptionally good work, dear Alison. "Once" is a word charged with such melancholy and you express it with refined poetic mastery. Love and hugs. Margherita |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Crown... you go girl! |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Alison, I read this some time ago, but as I knew what it was about, and the depth of the pain involved, and have the same sad situation with my daughter, I could only answer it with tears. It is only now that I have been able to come back and write words, though I don't think, even now, I am saying anything at all, least of all anything helpful. However, I believe that I understand, as far as it is possible for one person to understand another's unique pain. Hugs and wishing I could do more Owl |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
We once danced in forests dim Heard the choir of nightly hymns Moss caught the air like bridal veils Then swept us up on mizzen sails Secrets shared in foggy down Tripping over Royal Crown Those times now gone; I don’t know why We used to chat then, you and I. That beautiful poem is not only one of your very best dear Alison, it is written by the touch of a master's hand. In fact I think it is the best one of your poems that I have ever read and thank you for sharing with us all. Take a bow dear frend, love Lindsay |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Ida, Every comment you write to me brings me joy. Thank you for reading my poetry. Love, Alison - Margherita, You read with such understanding of the emotion behind poetry. I think that is one of your gifts to us here at PiP. Thank you, lovely friend. Love, Alison - Dixie, You got it. xoxoxo A - Diana, Life is filled with the pain of broken relationships - no one is exempt. The loss is hard and devastating. Friends like you make it easier. Thank you. Love, Alison - Lindsay, I am delighted beyond words with the thoughts that you shared with me. You reached into my heart and healed it a tiny bit more. Poetry + Friendship = Health At least, that equation works for me. And that's as deep into math I will ever go. xoxoxo Love, Alison |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
I'm echoing what 'Deer said. Your writing is so smooth and tight. This poem is very well written, and closes perfectly. |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Alison, you write the best of love and friendship in these beautiful couplets and I feel the heartspeak playing in my own thoughts. Where would we be without those embers to make and maintain memories?  ~KL |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Billie Cullimore Member
since 2009-03-27
Posts 315 |
This poem gave me shivers. I think about Marea, my best friend for over forty years (she just lost her husband) You want to share the heart ach but there are some things we just have to bare alone. Billie C. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
This is beautifully expressed, although of a sad vein....but with the loss of love in my own life, I do relate to your words.....I'm saving this~ Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This goes straight to my heart... Some pieces of our heart are taken from us, some wither from neglect, some we toss away... but all were part of us... and this reminds us what we're missing. Poignant poetic perfection here, m'friend. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Hi LngJhn, Thank you. I owe a lot of my progress to our 'deer. He has helped me a lot. Alison - Karen, Thank you lots and lots. I dunno. I just write what is in my heart, you know? xoxoxo A - Thank you, dear James. A - Ah, Billie, you said it well. Yes, there are some things we have to just endure on our own and grow from them. Thank you, sweet lady. Alison - Honeybee, Thank you for finding this worthy of saving. I am happy that it speaks to you. Alison - Dear Ruth, I am always touched by your words. Thank you. Love, Alison |
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