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Open Poetry #46
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One Afternoon
| Open Poetry #46 |
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One Afternoon |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America 
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yard so dry it has cracks in it abandoned plastic tricycles windy so windy it rattles Cyclone fence behind row houses encircling the factory no trees what pitiful flowers there are dying from lack of water or soot from the factory screaming children inside house loud slap screaming intensifies curses now woman crying child suddenly stops not on its own not by a long shot hand over mouth probably clouds beyond the factory in the west growing thick loading up with what might be a gully-washer everybody hopes so been too hot too damnable hot tiny lawn looks like a Marine recruits haircut man walks out of the house bare-chested, full stomach, high hips looks around holds a beer can cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth looks skyward sniffs the air a smile ran across his face disappeared took a drag from the cigarette coughed a rattling cough deep cough associated with dying and death infant started crying again man gets up throws beer can into street flips cigarette onto lawn walks back inside a white streak of lightning then thunder so loud it shakes the house child stops crying. |
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| © Copyright 2010 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
JP...almost a snapshot on flypaper gritty with just a hint of hope hidden behind the splinters. N-joyed it guy |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
The impending "something awful" in this poem is disturbing. Excellent write capturing something we really don't want to see up close. Lori |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
DP, very little hope, but I did try to manufacture at least some hope of hope. Maybe I did if you sensed it. Appreciate the read and input. <><><><> No, We don't want to see it up close, but sometimes it is better to see it up close than to bury our heads in the sand and make believe it isn't there. Thanks for the comments, Lori. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Powerfully rendered desolation. Storms of all kinds! But storms also bring release ... Love, Margherita |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Thanks for understanding this poem, Margherita. You are correct about storms bring release, we hope it is in time, that is the worry. |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Jerry, you write the rawness of one of the most painful things I can think of. The destruction of a child can be a slow process, but so often it is not, and a touch of compassion from an observant stranger may be all they have. I felt this one deeply, and have dealt with this kind of pain and trepidation on a personal level. Some close boy their eyes and their ears. ~K |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
I thank you and am grateful for your thoughts, K. I, too have dealt with this on a personal level. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Well described, Jerry...the scene and the emotional impact, real. |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Thank you Martie. Too real in some places I guess. |
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