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Open Poetry #46
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flash
Member
since 2010-11-28
Posts 213
miami beach, florida

0 posted 2010-12-11 11:42 AM


A rancid odor reeked of sweat
   Pervades the air around;
I have to find its source and yet
   It nowhere can be found!

I've searched my desk and under chair
   And sniffed and sniffed like hell;
And yet it still is in the air:
   OH lord what putrid smell!

Now wait..that guy that's next to me..
   He's not too clean, I think
There's something makes me think it's he
   Whose causing all this stink!

Yes, yes, It MUST be him, I swear
   (I've searched the whole darn place)
Somehow he must be made aware:
   I'l tell him to his face!

And so I turned to face him square
   And was about to speak
When I was met by such a stare
   That made MY blood run weak

Just a glance, yet I turned stiff
   It's meaning left no doubt:
I raised my arms and took a whiff
   And lo! I passed right out!!


This actually happened..I was in a room and this terrible odor was emanating..I was blaming EVERYONE--the guy next to me, the guy sitting over there--but the very LAST person I thought might be the cause, the culprit was...me. Isn't that like how some us us react to negative events in our lives? When something goes wrong, we're always quick to blame other people or events.      

© Copyright 2010 al fogel - All Rights Reserved
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
1 posted 2010-12-11 11:58 AM


HAhA,  A funny write. Flash I had that same experince while in my daughter's car. I could not  understand the strange odor.Turns out it was a new blouse I had on,and had not noticed  until I was in that closed car. Once in a while  when you bought something that was made in a foreign country it had the odor of some harsh chemical.I had to wash it a hundred times and finally had to throw it away. Thanks for bringing that episode back to me.  latearrival.  
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2010-12-11 03:19 PM


You have rendered this embarassing episode very well, with a good dose of self-irony and yes it was certainly a great lesson in human nature!

You made me think of an episode that happened in my youth. Never forgot that either! We were two girls working in an office (heavily decorated with fabric on the walls and moquette on the floor ...) and one day in summer the wife of the chairman we worked for paid us a visit and said "it's very hot in here and I think you could use this ...". She had bought two deo-sticks!!! Not exactly a nice little "Eau de toilette", but deo-sticks! haha ... Though I always hoped it wasn't me (there you are!!) that caused this decision, I must say that the brand of the deo became my absolute favorite for years and years to come.

Love and smiles.
Margherita



JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
3 posted 2010-12-11 03:25 PM


I've had b.o., but never have passed out because of it.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

flash
Member
since 2010-11-28
Posts 213
miami beach, florida
4 posted 2010-12-11 03:56 PM


Margherita, Jerry, Latearrival:  glad you were able to relate and enjoy! I wrote this about 40 years ago (I no longer wtire rhyming poetry) , kept it in a drawer, and felt like it was time to show it to you kind folks because it did evoke memories of when it happened to me (and does have a message) and thought it might spark events from you guys past (Margherita, Latearrival..fascinating stories!) And Jerry, I didn't totally pass out--you know, being a poet, you're entitled to a little hyper-shmaltz (exaggeration, poetic lie-cense?)

Al  


Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
5 posted 2010-12-11 04:52 PM


When I was a boy I had a part time job on a dairy farm cleaning up after cows and helping to milk them.  I noticed the smell around me but not on me.  Arriving home my mother wouldn`t let me into the house because I stunk so terribly.  She would make me strip down to my underwear and deposit my clothes into a bag before letting me into the house.  Talk about embarrassing.  I wonder what the neighbors would have thought of a skinny boy stripping down to his drawers if they had seen me.
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