Open Poetry #46 |
Fathering Elm |
threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
i'm a limb stripped of its leaves a craggy thin arm stretching nowhere in particular hundreds of years older than the children who play at my base i am naked in winter exposed feet, pushing thru a thin earthy crust and the thousand corpses of my fingers dance merrily in dervishes. i'm a trunk, gnarled and of chewed bark stronger than the seasons but weaker than man. i'm a survivor the last in my forest, the last sprout who blossomed now i wait and drop my seed watch it carried away washed away trampled or consumed. I'm a father, stripped of its offspring with intent gaze upon the ground for a birth a new life and that gives me hope. |
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© Copyright 2010 Jeff Feezle - All Rights Reserved | |||
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Hey threadbear: As long as there is life, there is hope... and with hope... life. May your roots hold strong, your branches reach far, and your seeds bear fruit. You did a fine job of working it all in. Peace. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
very much obliged for your kind words of wisdom. May I be worthy of the proper wisdom to spread my words. jf |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Jeff...I think how playful and sturdy and ultimately, how corageous trees are. I have always thought of them as special and to be looked up to (in more ways then one). You painted a word picture of this one, then gave it a heart. |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
It's unique how the syllable count gets smaller as you go, like the reader is closer to nature by the end of the poem than the beginning. |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
This is a gem of a poem because of its uniquenes. I liked how you personified an ordinary tree making us look upon it in a different light. |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Very well said, well-written... I adored the whole thing. ~A A pile of scribbles here: |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Very much like our own lives I would say. Beautifully done. Ida |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Thanks to you all, for indulging me on this 'Father' theme for a couple of poems. Be well, and thank you, Jeff |
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