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Singer of Song
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Singer of Song |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America 
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they come for the nightly blues watch her through smoky haze sitting in judgment paying customers, one and all Allouette, night club singer soulful, mournful Allouette, a ten-day gig debut; Allouette belts out da blues, man small blemish near left eye hardly noticeable comes night two; Allouette croons sublime, female Sinatra bottom lip swollen next night she's back, don't you know; Allouette gets in the cool-cat-groove Wearing shades, misshapen nose let's have it for her on night five; Allouette wails down-home Mississippi juke-joint stuff hides behind a veil fifth night a gas, man; Allouette howls new direction for jazz, pizzazz silhouette under lights, arms discolored can’t keep her away from night six; Allouette squalls unique sound, merging Hank and Miles nose begins to bleed back for more, she loves her man; Allouette expounds on her sound with ambiance staggers with a limp can't stop her, night eight; Allouette packs 'em in, digging her melancholy pain through tears that burn hurtin' bad, but made it back, night nine; Allouette new vibes, heartbreaking gravely voice, throat busted gig's last night; Allouette led to microphone, can only hum someone yells, "Break a leg!" . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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| © Copyright 2010 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Suffering for your art? You write on the unfortunate truth... that so much great music and art has come from so much pain. As for the jazz and blues, I'm right there with ya. Love those sounds! Just not the leg breakin' kind. Been there, done that. Peace. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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gilead Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067nevada, USA |
I’m from Arkansas, JerryPat, and in the days before TV, I listened to country, gospel, and the down home blues, and remember Muddy Waters, Lightening Hopkins, and T-Bone Walker, but not least among them, Bessie Smith. This poem is a tragic tale---bloody abuse, but persistence in the existential striving to be, no matter what---distorted sense of love, the need to be some man’s momma and rescue him from himself---impossible! But the story is a sadly recurring cycle. This poem grips me with icy gloves, and I feel Allouette’s pain, thanks to your artful rendering of her tragic dilemma. Congratulation on a splendid poem – Art [This message has been edited by gilead (11-26-2010 04:32 PM).] |
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gilead Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067nevada, USA |
"Break a leg!" what an ironic turn of phrase! All the while one wonders if night ten will end in death. Alas. Art |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Thank you very much for your indepth comments. I, too, hail from Arkansas, but haven't lived their for quite a while. Yes, Bessie Smith was the classic "existential," as you described her, in the agony of choosing the wrong man at each and every turn. You hit what this poem was all about from the git-go. For if she had all those bruises, etc., who was giving them to her? . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Spiros Zafiris Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982Canada |
..thanks JerryPat..quite the poem which captures one from the first-night to the last..>>spiros |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Appreciate your kind words, Spiros, thank you very much. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
A poem with this much intensity leaves the reader heavy hearted. Oh, and the ending..... |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Yeah, it was supposed to relay that have heart kind of feeling, Earl. Thank you. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Tragic tale and descriptions create the atmosphere. Unfortunately some choices go wrong even for the best talented people. Fine writing, Jerry. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Misty Lilacs Senior Member
since 2005-11-15
Posts 1060White Birch Forest |
A sad, sad song but wonderful writing! Marti I do the <color=orange><b>MS Walk</color></b> everyday!! |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Thanks, Prasad. Yes, talented people seem to fall off the edge every so often. Marti, I thank you for being here and commenting on my poem. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
A very sad story you tell here, Jerry, but sadly one that happens more often than we can know. Perhaps the abuse one can't see is more permanently damaging. South African men seem good at that. Helen |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
I have an Internet acquaintance from South Africa who goes by the name of Tinka. She has that problem. Thank you, Helen, for reading and gracing the poem with with your comments. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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