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Open Poetry #46

If I Could Steal You

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2010-10-12 09:35 PM

If I Could Steal You

By Juju

Night beckons my eyes shut
Wider than they have been
Beyond little trembles
like ripples on my heart

I swear IF I could steal you
I believe you'd get me first

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

1 posted 2010-10-12 11:33 PM

This was clever and deserves a large audience.

Yuka
Member

since 2010-08-19

Posts 71
china

2 posted 2010-10-13 01:47 AM

I swear IF I could steal you
I believe you'd get me first

yes indeed
what if we could steal somebody?
very like the last two sentences

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

3 posted 2010-10-13 06:16 AM

I like the contrast of this. Very well penned.

-Trina.

There are places in the heart that do not yet exist; suffering has to enter in for them to come to be - LeonBloy

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

4 posted 2010-10-13 07:47 AM

I won't pretend to understand..lol..
but I do get a sense of want out of this and a conundrum...of who gets who... first

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (10-13-2010 09:08 AM).]

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

5 posted 2010-10-13 09:04 AM

I agree, cleverly done...glad to have read it...

j.

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