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Victorian Grey
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Victorian Grey |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
She sits now atop the dead snag The limb killed last year when lightning hit Splitting down the bark a scar Burning leaves Grey clothed she waits Her dark throat holding notes she cannot sing While her heart contains the memory of spring And this watery sun does little to warm The caprice of wind As gloaming comes Yet she sings And beneath her wings she hides her eyes That others not see the depths inside Or feel the russet rustle of chords With which she has bound notes She wrote when no one saw How they fit upon the margins Or how she picked at threads where once She tore the page Giving it to him “remembrance” she had scribed Three lines because the number pleased And didn’t need more syllables Than these to compose with Clef noted ease The tumult of storm as lay within For she had seen How clouds moved west to east Carrying the flash of light and relief bourn on thick still air she breathed Now she stretches slender neck And borrows the songs of others Letting last warmth of fading sun remind her How it is To be loved |
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| © Copyright 2010 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
what a lovely song, this....it carries notes of deep lonliness...yet beautiful still~*~*~*~~ |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Beautiful indeed. Ida |
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
Captain, you have once again penned a beauty. Definitely a keeper! ~Sunkissed  |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
A fine piece on loneliness and loss. I particularly like the lines: "she had scribed Three lines because the number pleased And didn’t need more syllables Than these to compose with Clef noted ease The tumult of storm as lay within" Thanks for sharing. I bow to you and yours. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Belle, pleased there was something in the scribble that you found pleasing.. thank you for looking in and for the kind words always~ |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ida, Thank you... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ms 'Kissed... you're entirely too kind.. thank you |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Andrew... thanks amigo..appreciate your taking time to wade through my scribble and the kind words |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Touching...spectacular scribbling as always sir. EBM |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
kind words ma'am.. thank you.. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"Yet she sings And beneath her wings she hides her eyes" melodious as birdsong lovely |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thank you ma'am... you are indeed kind, and patient to wade through so many of my scribbles... |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
She wrote when no one saw How they fit upon the margins Or how she picked at threads where once She tore the page Giving it to him “remembrance” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh so nicely done, Cpat. Love the fading sun also, it creates a certain ambiance of the purest kind of love and touches a tender place in my heart. Gawd I love to read you~ |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
capt...so that is how driftwood is created? enjoyed it amigo |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ms Blues, you're entirely too kind..but I love the fact you are... (chuckling) thank you ma'am.... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Dark, Rare form today? LOL thoughts were from from the sea when this was written.. and driftwood it would seems might be formed from the old dead snag this begins with, but it would need to travel a ways..... |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"And borrows the songs of others Letting last warmth of fading sun remind her How it is To be loved" I just came in from an afternoon rest in the fall sunshine listening to music reminding me: "How it is to be loved~~~" M |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ms M... ma'am, I have always loved your company...so I am happy if this spoke to you in some way |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
"Yet she sings And beneath her wings she hides her eyes That others not see the depths inside Or feel the russet rustle of chords With which she has bound notes" Indecision mocked me as to whether or not I'd leave a comment. What else is there to be said about this piece, that hasn't already been said? Beautifully written. -Trina. "To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose." |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ms s1nfully_1nn0c3nt to know you were here and read my scribble is honor enough.... please don't let your indecision keep you from a comment, good or bad... my thanks for your eyes on this.. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You, and another very fine member who writes such as this makes it hard for me to read either of you every day. I'm supposed to be "the strong one."  But there are times when you just reach out by title alone, and pull in this slivered mermaid. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
This is one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read (and I am 64½ and have been joyfully exposed to listening to poetry since before I could read, and have read it and heard it ever since). I am not sure whether it is about a bird or a woman or both intertwined. I don't allow myself much time on Pip as I have only a minus quantity of time available to me between 2 jobs and many more commitments, but when I can't hold my breath any longer I plunge in here and intend to surface out after reading and not commenting on the allotted number of poems (such as 1 or perhaps if I am kind to myself, even 2) decided on before I enter. However, I had to drop this comment before I surface out. In the last 2 plunges, I have added 2 more excellent poets to look for (Tomer and you) when I allow myself the luxury or necessity (depending on the occasion) of Pip. Owl |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Exquisite as always Sir. |
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