Open Poetry #46 |
Driftwood IV |
Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Driftwood decorated in ink Disguising her scars As roadmaps Advertizing her empty in pink She winks her wide open Then throws back Enough strong ones To feel like she’s hopin’ Wearing her bark brown come hithers With black leather And intimate laces When she struts their resistance withers She tempts the woodsmen and jacks To fill her lonely Wanton and gaps Then simply consumes them like afternoon snacks |
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© Copyright 2010 Eusta B. Mae - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is becoming very sensuous... and wonderfully warm reads. |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Wonder where we'll drift from here.... Thanks for keeping an eye on us |
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
Enjoying this series very much, Eusta. It flows so well. Keep writing and I'll keep reading! ~Sunkissed |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Bless your heart Sunkissed, thank you so much! Eusta. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
:-) so does this mean they hung a sign on driftwood that says, watch your step, but the fellows keep tripping over her anyway? (chuckling) ok... seriously... this is tinged with sensual and moves froma rose garden to different sort of encounter... very nice piece ma'am. something to think about.... what are the qualities of wood, and how does it change from exposure? How is barnwood different from polished mahogany, and what are the qualities of barnwood people still find pleasing? What does wood that has been exposed have, that perhaps the more refined woods don't? :-) I just happen to know a little about woods.... and know that the minerals they are exposed to can add to the whole so it is totally different than "raw" cut.... I like your series.... and am truly enjoying where your thoughts are taking you ma'am.. |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Well...It never was a rose garden (Google four roses and you get bourbon) and I think the sign said Do Not Touch... About the wood-I know that old barn wood has character and that its beauty is in the flaws. Just a wild guess, but I bet the exposure to chemicals effects the color of the wood. Am I tracking you so far? |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
burbon or a rose garden...aren't they one and the same? :-) you're tracking..... one of the things I like to do is think about the character and how the qualities of the metaphor apply... I might for example use one quality excusively when I referred to heart, or a combination of qualities to explain the complex nature of something else... Driftwood is both beautiful, and weathered... so is a great metaphor for someone who has experienced life and maybe not always with a silver spoon... it can be sensuas as well, but what is that makes it sensual? You pull out a lot of this in your pieces, such as the use of "Bark browns" intimates...might for a piece of driftwood be "exposed her lacewood" ( and lacewood is a species of wood so it fits well) or "wearing seaweed bare" now, you say give it to you straight.... and I don't offer the kinds of comments above as usual fare...if it is too much feedback or you just want me to sit back, read and enjoy... you have to tell me. Believe me, I mean no offense...and nothing I have said should detract from your piece or the series.. I think they are a interesting read and am enjoying them greatly. |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Fear not, kind sir, your efforts are more than welcomed. Flattery feels good but it tends to make ones head fat, where as information lets a person grow in more becoming porportions. So thank you, thank you for your generous support. Hugs! Eusta |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
These driftwood dreams are quite enthralling! Love, Margherita |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"Wearing her bark brown come hithers With black leather And intimate laces" excellent! the pace has changed here the sensuality is bare yes! |
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