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Open Poetry #46
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The Referee
| Open Poetry #46 |
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The Referee |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan 
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“The Referee” The referee doth bring much needed love depleted fire rekindled thanks to voice that speaks the words that part the skies above in truth rescuing tired thoughts by choice Behind chaos’ quite amusing guise with due reverence sorting through frayed scraps exchanging comedy for its’ sad spies silliness crowned, a kingdom collapses. In its’ place, lording over this new land refreshed sits royalty, humble, awake imperfection embraced, with fear now banned no more shall thee partake of wine so fake Because with honesty I say to you the referee, my consort, is too true |
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| © Copyright 2010 Jill Slamka - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
an interesting write... in both use of language and the content presented... enjoyed .... |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
Thanks. I explored the use of the Shakespearean sonnet, trying to get out of my comfort zone. ~Jill |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Excellent write. Love, Margherita |
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easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
I appreciate your use of traditional form. Imho "does collapse" would fit the rhyme with "scraps" and play off the "doth", if I may be so bold as to suggest.  Was also wondering if the reference to wine is also to "whine", but, please don't say here whether 'tis so or no... an enjoyed read. |
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