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Open Poetry #46
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on the west bank
| Open Poetry #46 |
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on the west bank |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
I watched them clean their clothes Down to where their socks Bled with the scratches from their feet Their hands trembled like the Long lost feel of November Around a tempest of seals I watched myself in their eyes, In their pain that sold the soil For the wet side of a carton box For the wet side of a dream That lasted a night to be forgotten. Here the trees only stood so tall, The only conversation Was one mistaken for a mumble; a request for a last drip of water Around here, the notions of a lasting smile Is a notion of mistake, a brittleness of desire. On the banks of the west alley, Where their shoes sit scattered Like the fall of November. |
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| © Copyright 2010 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
Very moving write, Tomer. I did a little research on the West Bank and found out some very interesting details concerning it. Enjoyed reading! ~Sunkissed  |
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easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
Nicely composed writing. The empty shoes are a poignant touch. It is surely no fun being treated like trash. Such is the fate of the dispossessed everywhere. Even Americans are feeling the hardship of such dispossession nowadays. And those not as badly persecuted know at least fear, and do wrong because of it. |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
very interesting and poignant, enjoyed the pertinent look about the west bank, original and accurate because in touch with real life. regards yann |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Thanks for the warm sentments, Yann, Sunkissed, and Easy. Cheers Tomer |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
This verse: I watched myself in their eyes, In their pain that sold the soil For the wet side of a carton box was my favorite. I thought it (and the whole piece) was very moving. |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Poignant, captivating. I just adore the way you write! Best~ Amaryllis A pile of scribbles here: |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Thanks, Crosscountry and A..happy you enjoyed. A- Hope you're doing well. Cheers |
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