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Open Poetry #46
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Eterne
Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 75
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2010-08-02 03:08 AM



When I wanted to cut my veins
sitting on the cold bathroom floor
holding a broken glass bottle in my hand
I suddenly thought
about my beautiful three-month-old daughter
my first born
her helplessness and innocence
and how much love she would need to grow.
She saved my life.
I couldn't kill myself, and I never will;
my children's birth is my rebirth.
Yet sometimes I wish
I could just curl up and die in my sleep
not to feel the anguish of your pretend-death.
With no service to attend, no farewells to say,
no last kiss on a cold forehead,
no graveside to visit.
You are just a heartbeat away
but it feels like Eternity.
http://eterne-es.blogspot.com/


© Copyright 2010 Eterne E. S. - All Rights Reserved
easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
1 posted 2010-08-03 12:49 PM


Hope springs eternal. Best to author and daughter.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
2 posted 2010-08-03 01:26 AM


Ouch! Stay anchored. Peace to you and yours.
Eldest
Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177
Alabama
3 posted 2010-08-03 08:50 AM


Having been near that point once, I understand your grief, but hold on to your children, it will be worth it in the end.
Eterne
Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 75
Quebec, Canada
4 posted 2010-08-03 12:16 PM


Thank you for your kind words and well-wishes!

The incident with the bottle happened a very long time ago, when I realized that my daughter's birth anchors me in this life for her sake, if nothing else, and I always held on to my children, still do, and yes, their happiness is worth everything, but darn, the unexplained silence of my Love hurt so badly. I wrote it a few months ago, the pain is not as sharp now, so I guess that's a progress... I am just writing all this, so no one would think that I am suicidal.
  
I appreciate your compassion and empathy a lot, especially that this is not what I expected from a "constructive critique" :-) Thank you.

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
5 posted 2010-08-03 02:48 PM


You're welcome. I have noticed in my short time here (this go around - I believe I had a long-lapsed account many years ago) that the poetry is for reading and the comments tend to be supportive almost like group therapy. That is good in a certain way...

Any glaring errors (sans typos or misspellings) would be addressed gently, if at all. Picayune stuff like an inconsistent punctuaton scheme that doesn't harm the flow or meaning of the work will not usually be mentioned, nor will an abrupt change of subject or narrative object / person-being-spoken-to, if handled skillfully enough.

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
6 posted 2010-08-04 02:32 AM


Hi Etrene, yes children are innocent and precious, Your poem made me cry, best to you and your kid, day by day is sometmes enough to think about,  

regards


yann

Eterne
Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 75
Quebec, Canada
7 posted 2010-08-06 01:54 AM


Thank you, yann.
"Your poem made me cry". Can a poet ask for more? Thank you!

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