heaven's a distance not a place

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Open Poetry #46

heaven's a distance not a place

rebmemer
New Member

since 2010-01-18

Posts 7

0 posted 2010-01-19 06:49 PM

close your eyes
sunshine
and hope the warmth of snow
will bring some small comfort
like a feeble light in an ancient lamp
illuminating the inside of our cell
and all the shapes inside

sit so quiet
breathe so soft

close your eyes sunshine
and in the growing darkness
the rough lines of our faces
will be lost

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2010-01-19 08:23 PM

Yo Rebmemer,

The idea is there, and what you're trying to say is true.

Bobby

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

2 posted 2010-01-19 09:25 PM

Depressing and optimistic at the same time, told with a delicate touch. Skillfully done....

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

3 posted 2010-01-19 10:53 PM

This is really beautiful. I appreciate how tight this poem is, with no wasted words - everything counts, and it just adds to the imagery.
Definitely love this.

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