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Open Poetry #46
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jewel of budo
| Open Poetry #46 |
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jewel of budo |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast 
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whispering of silk kata of woman skin sins momentary silent lotus knows tomorrow wears only dew of morning tempting budo eyes scent of jasmine breath souls are leather tied when wet pulled loose then bound new stones wear tide liquor cove of moans opens belly frothing surgency sand before glass before sand ___________ daark (budo is warrior or one who practices the way of war...the setting is a beachfront meditation garden and a warrior and a lady combining kata (forms) and seduction as they follow the direction of the sea) |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
beautiful |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
DS I like the Haiku feel to this... it is beautiful! But that comes as no surprise. ~ebm |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms browneyes...I alway like it when you slip up and look over my shoulder..thanks lady ___________ ms ebm..thank you for the review..it was intended to blend some haiku and senryu..the fingers between nature and human social forms... |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Very cool in form and content.  "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
yes, it was beautiful...like a summer breeze whispering softly music to the soul...very lovely dark |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Your fingers are having wayy too much fun. Wonderful... sincerely. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
AS...thanks so much sir. ___________ leeJ...thanks lady friend _______________ ms sun...thanks for the smile babe |
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Bastet Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246 |
Lovely and very evocative poem. I can see the seen, thanks to your explanations.Subtle imagery and impressive use of vocabulary. And thank you for your comments on my work. Yes, I know it's not haiku. Technically, it's tanka (5-7-5-7-7-)but it was in my haiku file. Should have changed the title. I look forward to reading more of yours. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
B...my pleasure to comment and to have like from you..thank you |
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