Open Poetry #46 |
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Love is Complicated. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. ![]() |
In fall I fell fell like a big old ton of bricks boom, right down on the ground, some of me broke. Even bricks break when you hit them hard enough. I tasted you twice in high school, same day. What a great day that was, you were my first real girlfriend. We had sex that meant something to one or both of us... Like once a day, sometimes twice or thrice, once six times. And that's what we thought love was. I've fallen so many times and broken so many bricks broken so many bricks since then. I'm a big pile of brick-colored gravel great for a country driveway. Someplace with a big red door and a few large windows to let sun in. Big yard for the big dogs and the little kids. In fall I fell fell like a big old ton of bricks. boom, right on top of you. _____________________________________ Bad Habits. Fall in love early, fall in love often. [This message has been edited by viking_metal (01-12-2010 04:22 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2010 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this one made me think... reality sure is different than what we grow up believing huh? cool write but a bit sad |
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Alison![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Well, if you are a driveway ... at least you get ridden a lot - more than six times a day sometimes! This is a thinker-type poem, and I like it. Each of your poems that I have read this morning is so different - that's pretty special. I am off to face the wizard and earn my daily bread. Have a good one. A |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Passing Shadows, mademoiselle, thank you for reading. I'm glad you liked it. Yes, it's a little different than what we grow up thinking. ![]() Alison, my dear Alison, I laughed hard out loud at that. Clever little Aliboo, thanks so much for reading. I'm glad you liked it. Do me a favor, and stomp the wizard in his privates if he doesn't give you what you want. Fall in love early, fall in love often. |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
I think love needs intelligence when it is real, your poem makes feel like a true and authentic love...I enjoyed your original poem best wishes yann |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Thanks very much yann, I am glad you enjoyed. Thanks very much for the compliment. Paul Fall in love early, fall in love often. |
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Mysteria![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Probably a load of bricks she was glad to be buried under. ![]() |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Ha. Bricks are heavy. ![]() Thanks so much for reading and commenting on each piece of the duo! Fall in love early, fall in love often. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Awesome...stage two... You have an amazing mind. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
ThisDiamond, Thanks for reading so much of my garbage! That's an obscenely wonderful compliment, albeit undeserved, but I'll take it. ![]() Glad you enjoyed. Fall in love early, fall in love often. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
aw.... ![]() And one never knows what thoughts our thoughts will provoke-- that bit about even bricks can break? It prompted me to remember a few things about bricks... Like a gardening tip: If stray cats are mucking up your veggie garden, nod. Try mulching with broken brick-bits. They don't like the way that smells or feels. If they still persevere with their um, contributions? Try planting hot peppers in those bricks--they WILL grow--and use the peppers to make a spray to treat your brick mulch. Harmless to the cat, but decidedly uncomfortable. ![]() AND? In voodoin lore, a line drawn with red brick dust will ward off evil. Sorry for all the off-topic stuff--I enjoyed the read on this melancholy rainy day. (I COULD draw a line to the metaphors, but I'll not bore you further. ![]() ![]() |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
You don't bore me, actually that's pretty interesting. I think it's neat that people have so many tricks to do... stuff. We're interesting that way. Fall in love early, fall in love often. |
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