Open Poetry #46 |
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I Got the Music in Me |
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Kethry D Member
since 2010-04-12
Posts 64Australia |
I got the music in me I cling to life - it’s no surprise I’ll take your cheating and your lies Because I know, when my music dies I won ‘t be alone I’ll sit in silence - yes I will Keep my pain enclosed and still Be mummified each day until I turn into foam I know it’s wrong to be this way To get cut up at all you say Sometimes I wonder why I stay If not to bind me here But I have hope – I know it’s there Beyond my doubt and my despair That one day soon you’ll show you care And cast out all my fear It’s been years I’ve lived with dread Not alive - but not yet dead Because of strictures in my head To never live alone I’ve grown strong – it’s now my space To claim my life to take my place And should my music lose its trace I’ll smile, through tears of stone Hardened by these gifts you gave I take this promise to my grave My music has the power to save But it saves only me My music died but now it seems It haunts my life right to its seams It permeates my soul with dreams And wins serenity |
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© Copyright 2010 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360New Orleans |
Beautifully captured. |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
Interesting rhyming scheme. By choosing to make the last line different it creates a jarring effect. Thanks. It is always nice to learn something new from others. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Kethry - super write. I really like the AAAB flow. I did it with AAB, but you have extended that style into four-verse form really well. That you did it and kept to the theme of your message perfectly is a testament to your ability. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
She's back!!! And better than ever!! ![]() |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
sending you a hug Keth~ ![]() M |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
A haunting melody That whispers silently In testament gravely To your captured state May you waken fully To a sound so lively That you’re freed completely From this tethered fate "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
I also really like the AAAB flow.....A poignant yet hopeful piece, the ending was positive and perfectly said...welcome back to piptalk! ![]() |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, well, well... TYhe song is not a funeral dirge. This is a wonderful thing! Welcome back, dear lady. You have been missed. ![]() |
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Kethry D Member
since 2010-04-12
Posts 64Australia |
Thanks everyone, Long John has the terrible trio become a docile duo? I miss Toerag's spark. Sunshine, Ta muchly. I'm glad you think I've improved. Deer some people like my dirges, as evidenced by my being invited to read at Austin International ,Poetry Festival. Nakd Thouhghts, thanks for the hugs. I guess I finally found myself. A poet must leave traces of his passing not proof. |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Hmm. This is melodic, which is appropriate to the metaphor. The first few stanzas made me tired. So many are so afraid of being alone they'll take spiritual isolation just for the warm body beside them. Toward the end, things were looking up, but still quite solemn. We never strike euphoria, do we? Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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OldBuddyOldPal Member
since 2008-12-15
Posts 87 |
Ready to be put into song. When will we hear it on American Idol? |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Haunting and lovely in a very sad way. Ida |
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Alison![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I agree with everyone - I tapped my toes and hummed along as I read. I like this lots. Alison |
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