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steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

0 posted 2011-02-24 11:46 PM

strong winds and wintry showers
gusts of impertinence upon billows of restlessness
only whole leaves dance to the swirling music
of a February's blustery afternoon

rain drops sing with the voices of I-told-you-so's
and in the far-off fair-lands a tenor sax blows
low notes in a soulful dirge
celebrating melodies of ritual seasons

cloud-faces cover cheekbones of the sun
as dark is intermittent with rays of supple light
and the dapple-gray of luminescence buries its head
deep within the confines of day-shadows' longings

dust-rings sparkle with effervescent halos
moistened by the dew-tears of thunder-formed downpours
and power gives way to the dark bonds of solitude
as a simple candle glows lonely in a distant, barren window

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2011-02-25 12:02 PM

I just smiled so wide I had to bite my lip.

"rain drops sing with the voices of I-told-you-so's
and in the far-off fair-lands a tenor sax blows
low notes in a soulful dirge
celebrating melodies of ritual seasons"

This? It's so sexy, and it's spiritual, and it is...jazz.

*snaps*

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2011-02-25 12:15 PM

You captured this with beautiful metaphors of poetic language.
The whole read was moving with a soul calming rythum.
Loved the peacefulness of the collage even though it was blustery as you write it.
However, I have always loved the wind it whispers the evident demonstration of realities though not beheld.

Great stuff!!

Eric

oxymoron....Rap Music

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2011-02-25 07:37 AM

Got the feel for some street corner wailing as I read this, steavenr. I live close enough I could make the trip and take in the ambiance again, it has been so long. Maybe I will. Nice work.

~ Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks ~

Anoo
Member

since 2011-01-23

Posts 55
UK

4 posted 2011-02-25 08:08 AM

Outrageously poetic with vivid imagination.
Great poetry. I love the ending.
Anoo

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

5 posted 2011-02-25 08:21 AM

I don't know how I could say it better than all the greats preceding me here...so Steaven count me in with them, it is fantastic.
Lori

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

6 posted 2011-02-25 01:00 PM

Steaven, this is like the Christmas cake my mother used to make, rich, rich, rich with everything deliciously imaginable in it. I keep wanting another slice!

Owl

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

7 posted 2011-02-25 04:32 PM

serenity, thank you for keying in on that...your comments were high praise, indeed, glad you liked it

Eric, I enjoyed reading of your take on this...thank you very much "the wind...whispers the evident demonstration of realities though not beheld." Now that's fine writing.

Jerry, sounds like one fine trip.  I envy you living so close to the ambiance.  Thank you for the great comments.

Anoo, "outrageously poetic"  Thank you for such a cool commentary.  I appreciate it.

Lori, well thank you.  I could get a swollen head from such kind commentary.  But, thanks anyway.

Owl, thanks for the Christmas cake image...in my case, it was pie.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

8 posted 2011-02-27 01:54 PM

This is the kind of poem I wait for Steaven. Simply a great write.
Ida

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

9 posted 2011-02-27 02:06 PM

Ida, thank you. I am honored.

The Jackal
Member

since 1999-08-13

Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A

10 posted 2011-02-27 04:38 PM

I agree beautiful metaphors.

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

11 posted 2011-02-27 05:15 PM

simply lovely, steavenr...enjoyed it much!

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

12 posted 2011-05-10 01:52 AM

Enjoyed the read...

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

13 posted 2011-05-10 04:04 AM

Hi steavenr, exquisite sensations in a subtle play of words, thanks for the great moment of poetry,

yann

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