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Open Poetry #47
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I'll Come Down Soon
| Open Poetry #47 |
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I'll Come Down Soon |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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Give her my greetings when you meet and when you see her mellow smile I beg no words or news of me in loosely gossiped heartthrob style. Don't hustle me, don't bare my fears, don't state uncovered thoughts I spoke or mirthy tales of lover's cheer - that's not the way I see my hopes that's not the way that she should hear. I know I'll soon come down from here her soul down there in dreams so clear. The space outside is my lament; her answer still my greatest fear.  in a relationship the me becomes we. |
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| © Copyright 2011 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Wow Eric, these words could go so many ways for me, to a loved one, or even a god talking to down below, but then you throw in the picture, and it could even be the news, that way it is spinned to us by both sides of the coin. A real thinker my friend, great, now my head hurts ha, in that good way though. Nice to see you again, this is one of the best pieces I've read from you, you're aging like a fine wine sir poet, me, I'm kind of aging like an old blue cheese, rich, and ripe  Bravo. Richard |
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katahdin Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196ME. In the Shadow of the Mt. |
Hi Eric, I gotta say I agree with Richy, this was a great piece of work and the pic just topped it off. Enjoyed! Kat >^..^< |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I am loving this. Your thoughts are put together so well, and your message hits a nerve. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ thin loosely gossiped heartthrob style. Don't hustle me, don't bare my fears ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ yea, that's really good, ethome!! Great writing!! Brava Sir~ |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Loved the poem. The photo didn't fit, probably because I missed the premise of your words. If I did, I don't care, because I thank they were gritty and bordering on profound. Hah! Profoundly gritty. What? A new genre? ~ Life is sexually transmitted ~ |
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faithmairee Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441Poe Haven, USA |
Eric-This is really beautiful. Great work. There must be a poem in here somewhere. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Richy Rich I appreciate the kind words and the analysis. Glad you saw it those ways. Don't know about the thinker part. There's a lot of people out there that really know me....smile.... Drop in anytime. Eric _______________________ Hi Kat Good to hear from you and thanks for the encouraging words..... Eric _________________________________ Thank you Bluesy anytime I can strike a nerve poetically it's a good feeling. I appreciate those words so glad you stopped by. Glad you liked those lines. Eric ____________________________________ Jerry Thank you for the profound gritty reply. What you don't understand that picture!!?!! You've been drinkin again haven't ya? Jus kiddin my friend always so good to have you here. Eric ________________________________ Hi Faith Thanks for those words I certainly appreciate them. Eric in a relationship the me becomes we. |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Eric, your words are always a treat and the photo is way cool. it was good to read you! Lori |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Hello Ethome, the photo is extraordinary, the words are moving and create a naughty sensation of disruption in relationship....This is a poem that made me think about relationships and ending affections, I enjoyed a lot . yann |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I don't drink. ~ Life is sexually transmitted ~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Lori Thanks for the visit and for the nice reply. Look forward to your visits again. Eric _________________________________________ Hello Yann Thanks for the comments I appreciate them. It's more about the man's inability to play his hand due to the fear of rejection so it seems like he's separated from the very earth in his emotional insecurity. Many thanks Eric __________________________________ Aw Jerry And I was gonna do the buying. Oh well, I offered........smile.... Eric oxymoron....Rap Music |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Hi Eric - I got really caught up in the "seriousness" of your poem and then - bang - the picture and I came down from where I was. Good one - enjoyed! Helen |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Eric...Sometimes a picture and bring thoughts from deep within to spin. It helped to bring the emotional impact of the poem to me. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Helen Didn't mean to let you down so hard but glad you enjoyed the read. Appreciate your visits. Eric oxymoron....Rap Music |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hi Martie my dear little flower girl. That's the impact I was trying to achieve with the picture. Thanks for the nice comment and come back anytime. Eric oxymoron....Rap Music |
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Misty Lilacs Senior Member
since 2005-11-15
Posts 1060White Birch Forest |
Truly amazing! I've had an emotional day and understood this completely! ooxx Marti I do the MS Walk everyday!! |
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Spiros Zafiris Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982Canada |
..good writing, Eric..the picture startled me; i thought you had stumbled upon a mutual friend and advised him/her not to speak about you the love with whom you were separated from..very good poem>>spiros |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Eric - giggles! You (or the imaginary protagonist) may well be afraid of her answer, but you sure ain't afraid of heights!!! Owl |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Marti Sorry about your day but also glad this was a help. I appreciate the comments. Eric _____________________________________ Spiros Didn't mean to startle you but am glad you could find the time to drop by and read this. Thanks for the reply much appreciated! Eric oxymoron....Rap Music |
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easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
The picture seems as from a dream. Your words are sentient, poignant. High up work can use a harness---high hopes for others... If I could, I'd say they require tenderness. An excellent write and an enjoyed read. |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Eric, I also really liked the poem. The picture distracted me a bit, perhaps because I am so literal and I kept bouncing from poem to picture. When I read the poem a second time and just "felt" it, I loved it. The picture is interesting - and I don't think I would remove it. I just have to partner them in a way that works for me. Thank you. Alison |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Untold heights of ... delight ... you deny yourself by that kind of fear. Be daring! Like those fearless men in the picture. Hey ... where am I? Spiralling in free fall? Help! My wings, my wings ... OPEN! I am safe ... pheew quite the adventure! You did a great job with this one, dear Eric! Love, Margherita |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Heh heh Diana I had to smile at your reply and thank you all the same. Eric _________________________________________ Hi Easy It is supposed to be as if in a dream or an isolation so to render. I appreciate the kind words thanks for the read. Eric ___________________________________ Alison I can understand how the picture could distract you. It seems remote from the ideas expressed. It has to do with fear of something big as life yet no fear of these heights, yet these heights isolate the writer from his greatest dream. Eric ______________________________________ the writer views a critic like a fire hydrant would view a dog |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Okay, I am afraid of heights. I'll admit, the picture makes me want to throw-up.  A |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Eric, my friend... Even the Sun wonders at the heights of those who would take on the task of Icarus, for indeed it seems that they walk that fine line... However, as was exclaimed above, and now below with some addition, your words, this photo...makes one smile at the marvels and heights that humans will acclaim...even without the mission of Discovery... |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Wow!, love the picture with this poem, it adds an extra demension of wonder to the already interesting questions raised. Ida |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Margherita I love your comments they made me smile and thanks for the kind words. Eric __________________________ Alison Sorry, didn't mean to make you feel like you might throw up. I know the heights thing really scares a lot of people. However, I surely appreciate your comments. Eric the writer views a critic like a fire hydrant would view a dog |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
My dear Sunshine one, you are so right, those heights are beyond the comprehension of many. Really have a hard time handle them myself without the assistance of a perfectly good airplane. However, I have had to face some pretty significant heights in my lifetime especially on the top of those buildings way down there. Always a pleasure to have you visit me and comment. Eric _______________________________________ Ida I thank you my dear for that comment and the positive input. Eric the writer views a critic like a fire hydrant would view a dog |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Found this treasure and back to the top it goes... |
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