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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2011-02-13 09:47 AM

another day
turned into night
will be day again tomorrow
vicious circle-jerk
sorta like my thoughts
the ache is still inside me
the one I put there
back in tha 'seventies
lived with it all these years
you'd think I'd've found some way
of getting over it
thought I did a time or two
nah
never thought I did
lied to myself
been pulling hard time
since that last night in Hollywood
it comes and goes
but always there
you're gone now
makes me think of the expression
only the good die young
you were good
even Billy Joel would've thought so
how beautiful the sound
at night
always at night
when I hear the presence of your voice
inside me
haunts me for days
I'm
not whining
just saying . .

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2011-02-13 12:00 PM

This is as per your usual fantastic. "lied to myself
been pulling hard time"
I really liked that..."just saying"
Lori

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

2 posted 2011-02-13 12:10 PM

the beginning line drew me in and the middle kept me interested...love the ending...great poem

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2011-02-13 12:46 PM

Lori, so happy you liked my effort . . . Just saying . . . :0)

<><><>

Thank you very much, Faith, for liking my poem . . .

~~ All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand ~~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2011-02-14 08:19 AM

Quite the merry-go-'round
of emotion and angst...

Billy would have approved.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

5 posted 2011-02-14 08:25 AM

Thanks, Sunshine for being here.

~~ All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand ~~

bel1e
Senior Member

since 2006-07-24

Posts 1631

6 posted 2011-02-14 09:49 AM

dude~

since the 70's ??? That's some torch you carry, m'friend~*~

~enjoyed your poem~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

7 posted 2011-02-14 10:16 AM

She gave me two children, bel1e. Yes, the torch has never faded, but it was tarnished. Thank you for reading and commenting on this part of my life.

~~ All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand ~~

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

8 posted 2011-02-14 11:08 AM

Enjoyed and loved the ending, Jerry. It's good sometimes to "just say". I guess we all perhaps unknowingly lie to ourselves but such freedom when we know.

Helen

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

9 posted 2011-02-14 07:54 PM

Thanks Helen. I appreciate the comments. Sorry I was so late responding, I spent most of the day in the ER.

~~ All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand ~~

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

10 posted 2011-02-17 05:20 PM

What a interesting poem, enjoyed from start to finish since i lied to myself at times.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

11 posted 2011-02-17 05:26 PM

Thank you, ken206573. I appreciate you taking time to read and comment on my poem.

~~ In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal ~~

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

12 posted 2011-02-17 07:16 PM

..>>hi Jerry.>nice to see you return,
tonight..i like your poem..beautiful
fade out ending..>>spiros

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

13 posted 2011-02-17 07:20 PM

I haven't returned, Spiros. I am just thanking those who comment on my poems. So, I guess in a way I have returned.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

14 posted 2011-02-17 07:27 PM

..well, Jerry, all the best..! i'm rooting
for you..>>spiros

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

15 posted 2011-02-17 08:26 PM

Thanks, spiros.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

16 posted 2011-02-18 10:11 AM

"how beautiful the sound
at night
always at night
when I hear the presence of your voice
inside me
haunts me for days"

...there's a haunting, yet sweet melancholy to this...it was a powerful write

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

17 posted 2011-02-18 10:26 AM

Thank you very much, steavenr.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

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