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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2011-01-08 08:41 AM

Dearest John,

There's so much more
than your eyes can see
held within the deep of me

though distance far
with time's elapse
memories can fill the gaps

of when and where
and hopes and dreams
yet silence is the now it seems...

the closeness once
was almost there
but left today is empty air

for darkness reigns
in healing drops
now locked away till ransom stops

when there was much
that could have been
if only shared the all within...

gone from now
the words once dear...
a new beginning, in this new year.

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

1 posted 2011-01-08 10:52 AM

This is wonderfully done, I do love these lines...

quote:
the closeness once
was almost there

Almost close...I find those lines haungting, it seems

Enjoyed.

-Trina.

When you decide to walk away- walk away. Don't look back, In that moment you'll lose trust and faith- in yourself.

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

2 posted 2011-01-08 11:28 AM

deepest thoughts and feelings ... so VERY well expressed!

threadbear
Senior Member

since 2008-07-10

Posts 817
Indy

3 posted 2011-01-08 12:51 PM

the ransom of the past
is held within the confines of a bound heart, Maur.
A twist on the classic Dear John.
Love it!
hugs kiddo,
Jeff

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

4 posted 2011-01-08 01:15 PM

Maureen.You write hurt and sad so well.I may have had some of these feelings over the years, because I seem to understand your poems, but I think I have made a habit of denying them to myself.

I wish you a different New Year.latearrival

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2011-01-08 01:18 PM

Thanks everyone... I was just having fun with a challenge from a friend who needed a "Dear John" letter

thought I would try my hand at one that wasn't hurtful but honest

M

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

6 posted 2011-01-08 03:38 PM

...well, you have certainly excelled at your challenge...and my favorite stanza was this:

"the closeness once
was almost there
but left today is empty air"

such a gentle sadness...well done

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

7 posted 2011-01-08 11:01 PM

The sincerity is moving to me. So beautiful.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

8 posted 2011-01-09 10:18 AM

memories can fill the gaps

A serene way of detachment from the past, dear Maureen.

Very beautifully done.

Love,
Margherita

incwrite
Member

since 2010-12-31

Posts 55
new york

9 posted 2011-01-09 02:31 PM

such a heartfelt read...wonderfully done

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

10 posted 2011-01-09 02:46 PM

Very nicely, albeit "naked thoughts" about love gone sour. I liked your rhyming style here. Also liked the Will Moss quote. Right on, as we used to say back in the day. Maybe they still say it, I haven't the foggiest.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

11 posted 2011-01-09 03:58 PM

i agree that this is wonderfully done from the words you chose to the great flow to them...great poem!

faith

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

12 posted 2011-01-10 12:24 PM

Well, Maureen
Here's hoping the new beginnings are going to be happy and enjoyable for you.
A very sad write and you have framed it so well.

Best to you!

Eric

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

13 posted 2011-01-10 01:32 PM

Wish you wonderful new beginnings, Maureen.
Ida

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

14 posted 2011-01-10 07:20 PM

Hi Maureen...wondering if your friend used this letter. I like the notion of honest not hurtful. Happiest of new year to you!

incwrite
Member

since 2010-12-31

Posts 55
new york

15 posted 2011-01-10 08:25 PM

so many words strung together that I absolutely loved...I hope John reads this..

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

16 posted 2011-01-11 06:40 AM

Thanks everyone, and Martie, yes my friend did use the poem/letter and just told me last night that the kindness of the words led to a promise of friendship for the now and future with "John".

It is amazing sometimes what a poem can do for someone.

M

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

17 posted 2011-05-22 01:31 PM

As always, wonderful writing...
*~Coco~*

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

18 posted 2011-05-22 05:45 PM

Everybody is picking out lines when, to me, the whole poem is a teaching poem about how to get it right, pay attention students! Hah You are good and I am never unsatisfied when you post.

~ 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case .... Coincidence? ~

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