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XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

0 posted 2011-01-07 09:03 AM

***Hi friends and otherwise. I wrote this as a tag poem. I could not meet the five minute deadline so it falls out of the category, but remains a spontaneous write based on the Topic "Impossible To Put Down", though now in edited form.

I decided to attempt the resemblance of Old Anglo-Saxon alliterative Chant because I read Beowulf once, hahahhaha! It's a fictional account of a murderous medieval hard-man warrior who was won over to Christianity by a gentle woman's inspired love. Hope you like. If not, I will sweep off your head with a broadsword and hang it from a pike-pole. Not, lol!***

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He stood upon the emerald green
in his bright and bold bandana

And a sable vest, looking to the West
for the healing hands of Hannah.

For she brought him once a comfort scarce
in the sullen storms of silence

A loving touch of maiden's peace
in vale of void and violence.

The life he'd lived, no joyful fest,
was a dearth of dread and dying

With an empty hand so scarlet stained
whom, with visions veiled was vying.

A more selfish soul, you'd never know
but his livid eyes loomed lighting

Because she'd won him with her flowing heart
to a focus found worth fighting.

If ever a man saw the hope of life
and the sacred souls salvation

From the visions coaxed by Hannah's touch
he launched his loves libation.

Never a man shall he kill again,
not with words or wicked wisdom

Not with sword nor sleight, nor sacred oath
til the King's kids keep the Kingdom.

His monsterous hate, his sorcery,
subdued by subtle spirit

he has laid aside to honor truth,
one which mills in mind with merit-

that it's love which made a man to breathe
and held hard at hand is healing

if the man receives his maker's grace
and accepts His apt appealing.

Once love has filtered deep inside
and creates the crux of caring

it's impossible to put it down
as the pain permits its paring.

So he waits for her and her healing hope
in cascading, colored clearing

So his heart can learn, that though life may burn
There's no fate nor fight worth fearing.

© ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· 2011

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2011-01-07 09:23 AM

This is way cool! Enjoyed it very much. I have read Beowulf too ha!
Lori

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

2 posted 2011-01-07 09:27 AM

Thank you for reading. I'm pleased that it brought enjoyment to you!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

3 posted 2011-01-07 09:51 AM

Loving your poem, this was a pure delight to read, so many great lines.

Excellent work, Garapan~

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

4 posted 2011-01-07 10:23 AM

nice rhyme and meter ... excellent storytelling

enjoyed

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

5 posted 2011-01-07 11:21 AM

Thank you all. I'm glad it worked for you!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2011-01-07 12:20 PM

Wonderful rhythm captured here along with a worthy love story. Much enjoyed!

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

7 posted 2011-01-07 12:26 PM

Thank you, Martie!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

8 posted 2011-01-07 12:34 PM

muy coolo garapan...enjoyed it

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

9 posted 2011-01-07 12:36 PM

Thank goodness he slew Grendel before this or the kingdom would have been devastated.

Love, it'll get you every time, doesn't matter the time or place.

Wonderfully done! The rhyme and rythum are just flowing so smoothly in this.

Good work indeed!

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

10 posted 2011-01-07 12:40 PM

Thank you for stopping in! Your bribes are in the mail!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

11 posted 2011-01-07 01:23 PM

this poem is wonderful from your excellent diction to the use of imagery and alliteration...i love everything about it....great poem!

faith

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

12 posted 2011-01-07 01:36 PM

Oh, that's awesome! Thank you! Now I have to look up diction!

enunciation: the articulation of speech regarded from the point of view of its intelligibility to the audience
wording: the manner in which something is expressed in words; "use concise military verbiage"- G.S.Patton
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Diction, in its original, primary meaning, refers to the writer's or the speaker's distinctive vocabulary choices and style of expression. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diction

Cool!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

13 posted 2011-01-09 02:59 PM

I enjoyed this very much.

A

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

14 posted 2011-01-09 03:04 PM

Thanks for stopping in!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

15 posted 2011-01-09 09:19 PM

I won't critique it because I don't want you to feel cheap!

You spin a nice tale..

incwrite
Member

since 2010-12-31

Posts 55
new york

16 posted 2011-01-09 09:29 PM

enjoyed this so much..thanks for sharing

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

17 posted 2011-01-09 09:54 PM

Hahaha! That would be cheap-ER, Sir Balladeer!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

18 posted 2011-01-09 10:05 PM

a pleasure to read...James

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

19 posted 2011-01-09 10:23 PM

LOL! My mistake!

Amberzlynnc
Member

since 2010-08-24

Posts 229
New Jersey

20 posted 2011-01-09 11:49 PM

Wow! I enjoyed this very much.. Smooth read, easy to follow, and you had me hooked into the story from the start. Loved it. Thank you for sharing.

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

21 posted 2011-01-09 11:55 PM

That is high praise Miss Amber. Much the same as I feel about your own writing. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

22 posted 2011-01-11 04:13 AM

This has a remarkable flow, and wonderful images. Lovely. Enjoyed.

-Trina
Be thankful for every person who has caused you pain. In that moment, they became your assistant of growth.

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

23 posted 2011-01-11 04:30 AM

..>>yes, it is very lyric; much enjoyed

..>>spiros
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