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JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

0 posted 2011-02-01 06:56 AM

Part of this poem is inspired by Melanie Safka's
song, "Deep Down Low" . . . The rest of it? . . .
Kinda letting it all hang out here . . .

dreams like a locust plague
visiting me in the eve of night
they make me recall
half wishes and un-promises
in the scream of the dark
hopes are vanquished
dusty and old
they only come to visit in the morning of night
wearing their bereaved clothes
not to be misunderstood
they give me no chance for alibis and lies
a pillow of comfort is under my head
wet now with tears
how did they ever get there
I leave my pillow wet with tears
face morning's sunshine like a faker
hopes and fears all combine
like the river of tears
on my down pillow
left there to dry up and rot
as I watch the sad show
and think out loud
if wishes and dreams were powerful enough
they would discover my masquerade
camouflaged am I so none may understand
more and more
secrets hover 'round
I feed them as they lingerer a moment
hope they will grow
into pretties around my heart
which by now there is
nothing left to show
desensitized to the nth degree
slower and slower
secrets come undone
unraveled showing me
how not to get right
how not to understand the flow of the heartbeat
while secrets hang around
for want of something better to do
not hanging around for mischief making
but drowning me because I won't let go
I don't know how to hang on
or how to let go
will the sorrow
be gone tomorrow
and the pain
lessened somewhat
and the regret will it
never end
oh! please don't look this way
cause my deep down is low

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

1 posted 2011-02-01 09:42 AM

I like these lines

"they would discover my masquerade
camouflaged am I so none may understand"

At some point all our "deep downs" are low, some hide it better than others though. Always a pleasure.

-Trina
Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

2 posted 2011-02-01 09:47 AM

You make great observations almost every time you comment on something of mine.

I like your signature.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

3 posted 2011-02-01 10:49 AM

Jerry, could relate to this poem in many ways...you spill your guts good my friend!
Lori

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

4 posted 2011-02-01 11:00 AM

Morning, Lori. Thank you. Check the other site.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2011-02-01 12:02 PM

long as you don't pea soup you will be ok amigo

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

6 posted 2011-02-01 12:07 PM

Yuk. Yuk. Thanks for the advice, DS. You're a real friend.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

7 posted 2011-02-01 05:52 PM

My candle in the rain.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

8 posted 2011-02-01 06:13 PM

Johnny Boy / For My Father

I LOVED her first two albums (I have them) / After that she went too mainstream.

Thank you my friend.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

9 posted 2011-02-01 06:28 PM

I wore that vinyl out".

I didn't mind the Rollerskate song either, and I can actually play "Look what they done to my song, Ma."

Basic, basics. Three chords and a seventh.

heh-heh.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

10 posted 2011-02-01 06:31 PM

I can actually play "Look what they done to my song, Ma."

One of my favorites. I know it isn't on the first two albums, but I love it.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

11 posted 2011-02-01 08:22 PM

JerryPat-Your poem is full of great lines...if i had to pick a favorite it would be the last line...i could relate to so much of what you have expressd here and was very moved by your words...

As for Melanie...I still enjoy listening to her on YouTube...remember "Lover's Cross"?

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

12 posted 2011-02-01 08:29 PM

Yes, of course I remember "Lover's Cross."

Thank you, Faith, for your continued support of my efforts.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

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