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Open Poetry #47

Facing the Competition

martiniat8
Senior Member

since 2003-06-21

Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

0 posted 2011-01-31 10:22 PM

My love, my light
Where are you, now?

Distant, always distant
as from the day I was born
created, crafted for you...

or is it they other way around
around the other way, day
most likely for what these eyes have seen
the horror, the hatred in other men and succubus women

I try to compromise,
try to settle for less
thinking, it's for the best

but I look into the eyes
of a shell of a woman
that cannot see

she only sees
what she thinks I need

go through the motions
a formula for what...
"pleases" a man

and so I return her gaze
and in that moment she knows
no matter of foreign language
or misconstrued prose

its all for not
she fights a losing battle

in competition for...

your rose

The_Doctors_Angel_32
Member

since 2011-01-14

Posts 337
Florida, USA

1 posted 2011-01-31 10:44 PM

This is such a sad poem yet at the beginning it was so happy. I truly enjoyed the read!!!

When the family is together, the soul is at peace - Russian Proverb

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

2 posted 2011-01-31 11:55 PM

you've presented a very interesting and intriguing perspective here...and, you've done it very well...excellent write

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

3 posted 2011-02-01 12:34 PM

I like the blunt fact of the matter and then the contrast of the last line. I like your style.
Lori

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