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Open Poetry #47
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The Heaviness of Feeling
| Open Poetry #47 |
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The Heaviness of Feeling |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa 
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THE HEAVINESS OF FEELING 6 October 2005 It’s hard with no footstep on the verandah, and no greeting in the hall. It’s hard flying solo on my elation at a butterfly on a leaf, the splash of crimson-winged lourie visitors, thrushes on forest floor, the birth of a yellowwood, single notes of musical perfection, sunsets languishing through my trees and poems painted on my mind. It was hard bringing up my children on my own and teaching them all I knew and then some, so that they could fly as high and as bravely as they do. It’s so very, very hard being without them. It’s hard missing my horse for three and a half years now after twenty and a half years of mutual adoration. It’s hard with nobody to share my tears for exploited indigents, abused or missing children and the anguish of other’s mother cats and their kittens when separation comes to pass. It’s hard getting an ex-boyfriend to fix the plumbing when I haven’t sold any houses in a while and can’t afford a real plumber. It’s hard choking on this boundless love that nobody wants. It’s hard reminiscing about loves that flew high for a while. . . oh, so hard, and yes, André, Joe and I really did talk about trees . . . amongst other things . . . all those years ago. It’s hard looking at footprints that I thought would stay, leaving my forest again . . . and again . . . and again, . . . but hey! life is hard for everyone, in one way or another, and I am luckier than anyone I know, for I have my elation as fresh and eager as when I was new - and my freedom, through these long, long, almost solitary years, is sweet, so very, very sweet. . . I savour it, like my sundowner liqueur glass of Cape Velvet, slow on the mind. My thoughts and dreams soar skywards, unaborted now, and flow into slow memories, vivid and precious. I don’t and won’t live scared behind closed doors. I can turn lights on or off at will in my house and in my heart. I don’t have to cook or answer to anyone. Nobody argues with me and I am free to laugh and cry and call my filing cabinet, Fiona, my laptop, Lilian, my post box, Penny, and for the joke, my palisade fencing, Paul, and I can hold long conversations with my cat and my dog and my late horse without anyone complaining - and they love me, all three, unconditionally, as I do them. People would do well to appreciate what they have and know that no one else’s life is perfect. I adore my freedom and my elation and my sorrow, and I sing them, celebrate them or sob them, every moment, with the passion I have for everyone and everything I hold dear. Owl [This message has been edited by OwlSA (01-28-2011 05:45 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2011 Diana van den Berg - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I think the only thing I have ever named outside of a child or animal, was an inanimate object that extended to my car, PIM. And PIM, of course, is for "poetry in motion"...just because.  But I like that you name the objects surrounding your life...it gives aspect to a whole new meaning of surrounding one's self with love.  |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Basically, Owl, you have given the future naysayers and whiners a blueprint for happiness. Sure we "need" other things, like someone to really love and adore us, but we don't really have to have them to put smiles on our faces. All we need is "freedom and my elation." Sorrow can also, as you so aptly put, be included as a part of the smiley face because we learn from our sorrow, and by learning from it we can defeat it or wrap it in love and smother it. ~ Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. ~ |
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faithmairee Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441Poe Haven, USA |
there is so much in your wonderful poem i could relate to in some way...this is so beautifully written i'm kind of speechless...just love it! There must be a poem in here somewhere. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thank you, Karilea. My Jetta is called Gretta, but not because it rhymes. I only realised that a few days after I had named her. Thank you, Jerry, for your very kind and beautiful response – beautiful in every imaginable way – in content, appreciation, expression, wisdom and warm compassion. Thank you, Faith. I am glad you could relate to so much of it and that you thought it is beautiful and that you enjoyed it. Owl |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Lovely summation of your feelings past and present. A real self examination of life's experiences and the reflections that offer such freedom. very well done once again. Eric the assured expectation of things hoped for, the evident demonstration of reality though not beheld |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thank you very much, Eric. I value your responses very much. Owl |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
It’s hard flying solo on my elation at a butterfly on a leaf, the splash of crimson-winged lourie visitors, thrushes on forest floor, the birth of a yellowwood, single notes of musical perfection, sunsets languishing through my trees and poems painted on my mind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That is exquisite and says it all. This is so very poignant. Thak you for sharing the moments. Lovely poetry, Owl~ |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
My new puppy has chewed through my power cable. I hope I can get one today, but may not be able to get one until Wednesday, if at all as my laptop was bought in 2007. I don't have much battery power left. Just explaining why there may be no response from me, if there are more responses to this poem. Thanks, Blues. I am glad you enjoyed it. Owl |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
"People would do well to appreciate what they have and know that no one else’s life is perfect" ...sagacious words...these...well, even if puppy has chewed the power cord, you will still have a congregation with whom to converse...  ...enjoyed with smiles and sighs |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Though I have been through some hard times as I know you have, Diana I have to agree with you here, We deal with what we have to deal with and count our blessing for what we have left. Freedom has always been a priority for me. You express MY feelings in such a wonderful way. Ida |
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Spiros Zafiris Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982Canada |
..Owl, just sos you know i read this poem too and enjoyed it too..may we persevere and write and smile..>>spiros |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I hold conversations with my dog, and then my husband comes home so I stop until he goes back out on the road again. But I kinda like it here alone, we get through the hard times, for sure. Loved this poem so much! |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thanks, Steaven. Giggles at your reply. Glad you enjoyed it. I am glad you related so well to my thoughts, Ida. Thank you for your response. Thank you, Spiros. I am glad you read it and enjoyed it and related to it. Dixie, I saw the photos of your angel-doggy in you poem Misunderstood. I am so glad you hold conversations with him. Animals love long interesting conversations – well, mine do anyway, and I am sure other animals do too. In my response to Misunderstood I asked you what his name is. Shortly after that I think I discovered in a reply to somebody’s poem somewhere, that his name is Spike. He is magnificent. You have the best of both worlds – the freedom when your husband is away AND his company when he is back, and then of course, the constant companionship of Spike (if I am right about his name). Owl |
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