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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2011-01-06 01:16 PM

someone decorated kanan with red and white
road killed budweiser carton, well retired
left for my eyes to question momentarily
as you gasped your caution of those curves
other than your own that distracted plenty

when you pressed poems to my back skin leather
and asked if I could read all of your words
like they were from a breast friends pen
and I was designed for craving more I guess
perhaps a dictionary full if you had the time

and I would provide the miles you might need
if you didn't mind us stopping from time to time
when the chill made you hard to ignore
and we needed to just talk about things
as they might come up between us on occasion

before we turned around and took this ride again

___________

daark (highway series) (scribblenote: kanan is a kinkback road from 101 down to Malibu..requires rigid attention when being worshiped)

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

1 posted 2011-01-06 01:19 PM

wonderful diction and great imagery...masterfully penned...i love your style...it's really cool!

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2011-01-06 01:25 PM

I just have to smile at some of your verse.

I'm gonna call you master of the rides.
Simply love that second verse and the play on/off words.

Write'em up and chop'em down.

Got some sand to it this work of yours!

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

3 posted 2011-01-06 02:32 PM

ms faith, thanks lady..

________________

eric, thanks guy..tried to keep it between the lines..

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2011-01-06 09:41 PM

and I would provide the miles you might need
if you didn't mind us stopping from time to time
when the chill made you hard to ignore
and we needed to just talk about things

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yea that!!

You leave me winded and just a little bit out of breath,
but then again the lines are narrow and the fine line is half the fun. *wink*

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2011-01-07 06:49 AM

babyblue...put on your poetry shirt and climb on behind me..dare ya! thanks babe

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

6 posted 2011-01-07 11:30 AM

Crazy great as usual. I find your far reaching intelligence amazing and I imagine you must fight to temper it into understandable tones, lol! This coming from one with reading comprehension issues, it's appreciated vastly.

Curious if this was on purpose-

"breast" friends, lol!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

7 posted 2011-01-07 12:32 PM

garapan..oh my, did I miss spell that? grin...thanks for the read and comments

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2011-01-07 12:35 PM

DS...The curves of Kanan are full of poetry. Enjoyed yours.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

9 posted 2011-01-07 01:01 PM

ms martie...thanks little neighbor...one of my favorite rides for sure.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

10 posted 2011-01-08 12:41 PM

once again I read and once again I find my self smiling (jotting down my favorite expressions and lines)...like "road killed budweiser carton, back skin leather, breast friends pen" and of course, my favorite "when the chill made you hard to ignore"...as I shake my head, smiling and wondering if I should actually admit that

very cool write, sir

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

11 posted 2011-01-08 03:28 PM

thanks steavenr...I appreciate your reads

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

12 posted 2011-01-11 01:59 AM

Sweet ride.

A

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

13 posted 2011-01-11 03:42 AM

ok, so for a while I was like....what the hell is a kanan?

haha then I got tot he end.

Ah, If i could play with words as you do...Why, the things I would do with them. "A breast friends pen" ha. Enjoyed.

-Trina
Be thankful for every person who has caused you pain. In that moment, they became your assistant of growth.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

14 posted 2011-01-11 06:07 AM

ms ali-san..thanks little one..

_______________

ms sinz..grinning here..thanks lady

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

15 posted 2011-01-11 10:05 PM

Just smiling along the miling...

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

16 posted 2011-01-12 06:08 AM

ms suns...you would enjoy the ride, thanks ms

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