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Open Poetry #47
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Sacrifice
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Sacrifice |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
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Sacrifice She sat alone, beneath the tree, listening to the waves. Facing the sea, next the headstone that marked her father’s grave. The precipice just beyond her, she often walked that ledge Enamored with fate gone amiss, seeking a dying pledge. A little bird landing close by had dared to share its verse. With tear in eye she spoke no word, but let the song immerse Her in visions of peace and love, all unknown to her since The gods above tallied her sins, to father’s consequence. A mother’s bane, she bore the hate every day of her life. No way to sate the jaws of pain – of misery and strife. The island shook and broke her from the mesmerizing spell. She heard the drum, arose and took her pathway back to hell. Her necklace ripped away from neck, the one her father gave her. Life, now, a wreck of passions dripped; it in no way could save her. She flung it to the sea below, and turned to face her calling. But could not know the bird had flew to catch her treasure falling. She had seen it but once before, this measure of the mountain. The lives it tore, appeasing it through the great lava fountain. To please their rudimentary gods, these workers of the water With silent nod would offer her – their eldest virgin daughter. As she approached, watching eyes shift, she knew the price now due her. Her sacred gift become reproach upon the eyes that viewed her. Propensity to live life chaste, and await love with virtue, Now laid to waste, for all to see that dreams as such but hurt you. And so she walked the sacred path, the elders right behind her. With silent wrath they seldom talked, but used spears to remind her That once atop, she musn’t stop, but follow through as chosen… That family might live to see ire of the mountain frozen. She, without thought, (as lava glowed in her innocuous eyes, And spewed and flowed, while streamers shot far across the lurid skies); One moment there, and the next gone, but smiled and stepped to freedom… As all looked on, believing fair, one life for those in need them. And all grew silent; all grew still – as the sacred moment passed. The wind grew chill, as in the sky the sun slipped through clouds amassed, And then a rumble, starting slow, until, full-blown and shaking, The lava flow burst to the thrum of the mountain it was breaking. From up high where the elders ran, the cracks opened and swallowed First the mountain, then sacred stair, and soon whole island followed. The bubbling sea, hissing with need, through the volcanic thunder, Given to bleed eternally as all were taken under. ******* Upon awakening she thought it a dream the Night had spun, But then thought not, watching day break across the new horizon. And as the bird lay the necklace on the soft grass near her feet, She saw his face, and without word, her pain started to deplete. Then he held out his hand to her, and walked with her to the aisle, As with a blur, the past waned out, replaced by her father’s smile. ‘Looked to the chain surprised to find the silver links without sever, And turned, in kind, to face the plane of her peaceful forever. Michael Anderson 1/11/2012 I strike! It quivers in that heart Which drives me to this end; I draw and kiss the bloody dart, My last-my only friend! ~Abraham Lincoln |
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| © Copyright 2012 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"‘Looked to the chain surprised to find the silver links without sever, And turned, in kind, to face the plane of her peaceful forever." Nice write, for sure, the ending held such peace. Enjoyed. JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
AWESOME! I saw a movie probably long before you came into this world, that was exactly like this poem. Now I am going nutty wondering the name of it, so I have to search for it Victor Mature rings a bell, well off I go and will come back if I find it. Wonderful story Michael, just wonderful! |
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bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
fantastic! You are a true Bard! love it! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Amazing story, so masterfully told! You really grasped my attention! Margherita |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You are becoming a master raconteur, my friend. The first few stanzas, I was thinking one way, and it was very personal - so personal, I was going to email you and ask if you knew of my secret, when bam, you turned me around to where you really were, and then, of course, the surprise... You ended it gracefully, knowing full well, apparently, how a woman might think on the eve of a major life occurrence. Poet? Write, well done! Thank you. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Thank you, James, I’m glad you enjoyed. JL, yeah, I’m not much for happy endings usually… wasn’t exactly in my comfort zone here. Mysteria, wow… I would like to know the name of that movie if you come up with it. I have always held a fascination for volcanoes. I thought this surely an original idea. Bel1e, A true bard I would surely be if I thought I could get away with wandering the land from town to town living off my trade. I still take that as a high compliment lady friend. Thank you. Margherita, glad you enjoyed the read. K., the trick to any good write is to reach all readers individually on a personal level. I thank you for a most humbling compliment. Michael |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I'm really pleased to see how you ended this; I know you were giving it quite some thought. I'd love to see this fleshed out into many poems, and then maybe you could publish it, and then hey you could give it to me for my birthday!  lol (it's my subtlety...very charming, i know) |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
She flung it to the sea below, and turned to face her calling. But could not know the bird had flew to catch her treasure falling. Exquisite, intricate rhyme telling a story so superb, with a moral message thrown in... this is simply amazing! The reunion with her father is perfect... as is the sacrifice being the one who finds freedom and salvation! The write of happy endings may not be your forte', but this exception just proves your work is without equal, even when peace is the outcome. From start to finish, I love every word! |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Fascinating and beautiful, Michael. Owl |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
Wonderful story and so well written. Enjoyed, Ms. E |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Nicole, by your birthday huh? Don’t you know time tables are the tool of the devil? Ack… I can’t take the pressure, I feel my brain imploding already. We’ll see what comes of it… I did want to put far more detail into this but didn’t want to drive the readers to madness in the reading of it.Ruth, yeah, I’m not one for happy endings and wasn’t at all comfortable with it to be honest. You got the gist of it though… rewards in the next life are to those who “give up” something in this one… not those who follow rituals and believe themselves in the right as they condemn others… yada yada yada that’s about all the rant this tired old man has left in him…lol Glad you enjoyed. Owl, thanks for stopping in, a very pleasant surprise. Ms E, thank you much, glad you enjoyed. Michael |
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