Open Poetry #47 |
a color not too far away |
Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
I saw a palate of grey on her little bent sleeve where she kind of grinned at the right side of the street Its quiet around here I fear its a bit lonely out here she said it still hurts when the light touches her where the breast of the sky opens like the window she use to peer through as a young child She's a little on the edge soon to be a rift between the edge of the river and that little fork in the road where our little hearts use to wonder whats it like to be tall and roam like the wildfire that caused the cattle to lose their innocence Right near her home little bent sleeve riding up the bark of trees with the lips of her youth pressed against the center of her quiet backyard. [This message has been edited by Tomer (01-03-2012 07:19 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2012 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved | |||
JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"that little fork in the road where our little hearts use to wonder whats it like to be tall and roam like the wildfire that caused the cattle to lose their innocence" Enjoyed "a color not too far away" Nice writing Tomer. JL Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Happy you enjoyed that stanza, JL...appreciate it Cheers |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I am probably completely wrong, but the last four poems you posted seem like a series to me: 1. a color not too far away - setting the scene for a young girl taking her life 2. Autumns broken heart - the reason for her taking her life 3. once upon a midnight moon - the taking of her life 4. gracies note - the metaphorical note she left behind Whether I am right or wrong, they are all beautiful and superbly written. This one, a color not too far away – It seems to me that she is nostalgic for her childhood and her childhood sweetheart – and that the hurt is coming from a break with her childhood sweetheart. Owl |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Owl, I appreciate the support, and most importantly, the intensive analysis, but these were not a part of a series. I can see how you can draw comparisons between them, but they are in fact different in their own ways. The more I look at them, I can see the parallels, though. Again, thanks for the comments, always welcome. Cheers |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thanks for letting me know, Tomer. I was hoping you would. That doesn't affect how much I enjoyed each of them. Smiles. Owl |
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