Open Poetry #47 |
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Shift |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida ![]() |
today is a day for a shift of thoughts that whip about, fanning embers buried in palm of hand. trinkets of far-away fancy, lilting like ashes; bits of persona dropped into the empty spaces that no one could possibly grasp. and perhaps they see me here, crouched and listening to the hum of insects watching the crepe myrtle cling to the tail of a strong gust followed by eyes, green like frozen grass (just as brittle, and frigid) centered here, among the markers of lives surrounded in color and glory inhaling the release, the loss, and struggling with envy, or martyred hope |
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© Copyright 2012 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
quote: That's about as dark as it gets. It grieves me to see this come off your pen, dear. Wasn't it you who one told me "There's always hope." Allow me to return the favor please. Michael |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"bits of persona dropped into the empty spaces that no one could possibly grasp." Sometimes it could be difficult almost impossible to speak those thoughts. But I think your "Shift" may be the explanation all together... I am mesmerized in the thought Pulverized in the feeling and Sanitized invisibleā¦ ![]() I love your perspectives in poetry. JL ![]() Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
The lines of this admittedly dark poem (I love dark poems, as you have probably noticed) just reached out to me and caressed, stung, whispered and kicked ass throughout the sixteen lines. I can't write like that, and I am jealous. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
I don't see this as dark..I see it as real. One has to have a strong foundation, when the wind of changes "shift" Ask Bob Dylan, he knows, and anyone who knows him knows to what I refer. Your poems take me away from the false world, Nicole...into the sometimes all too real one... But that is not a bad thing. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms Nicole...can see the woman with windows in her pen here....she whispers but writes with large letters..enjoyed it ms |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: What a powerful rendering of a shift, dear Nicole! Incredibly intense! Love, Margherita |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
.........sounds to me like a cat on the prowl ... bird, mouse, grasshopper coming face to face with the master predator - murder, death, kill about to happen. cool... j. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Michael - Indeed it was ![]() JL - Thank you; sometimes it is so difficult to wrap words around the feelings. Your reply is very thoughtful, and appreciated Jerry - You made me smile... thank you for that. No need for jealousy with my ramblings - you sing out the emotions very well. ice - Thank you, very much for that observation... many times things are seen as dark for the sake of being dark, when it is in fact just life. D - Thank you ![]() Margherita - Thank you dear, your replies are lovely J - That is such an interesting interpretation. I love it - and I can read it now with different eyes. Thank you for that. ![]() |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Your poetry is definately a cut above, Nicole. Ida |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Every line is superb and vivid, but the ending lines go straight to the heart... excellent write!! |
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