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2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

0 posted 2011-10-24 03:49 PM

O superficial city,
I walk in you as an animal,
your shop windows relax me
but I lose my forgiveness,
your tentacles bark in the industrial parks,
blues capture greys,
and smells of sulfur
announce the storms of the ocean,
the glances get lost with a double meaning
in the dullness
of iron rains
or simple concrete questions,

O superficial city
the works accumulate,
the electricity is henceforth solitary
and tars have fun
with our sadnesses of deprived wanderers,

I copy you and flash
inexorably as a neon of pharmacy,
I abandon the sea of emerald
the carcasses of cranes
bleed cargo boats,
I tremble under the vertical lines of buildings,
the dirty concrete caricatures the hope,
windows close on my bookish breath,
the transparent decline
intoxicates myself,
and in the faded bars
I look for the laughter and for perfumes
of the staggering evening
which got drunk of you and my principles,
O superficial city.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

1 posted 2011-10-24 04:02 PM

Reminds me of my first trip to Alameda,Ca.

Enjoyed the read.
JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

2 posted 2011-10-25 03:14 AM

A most thoughtful and interesting write, yann.
Ida

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

3 posted 2011-10-25 04:27 PM

I read this and want to expound on it... to our superficial country. I love the depth of allusion here.

Nice write.

Michael

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

4 posted 2011-10-25 06:23 PM

thanks Jl for reading and commenting, I know LA (??) a little, there is always love and hate about ciies, as for emotions, but it give experience;

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

5 posted 2011-10-25 06:24 PM

thank you Ida

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

6 posted 2011-10-25 06:26 PM

thanks michael, poetry has to be shared, this seems a good inspiration, and it works for countries as well may be, an idea of poem.

yann

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

7 posted 2011-10-29 07:57 AM

quote:
and tars have fun
with our sadnesses of deprived wanderers,

This is an amazing poem, dear Yann, that makes one stop and ponder. Such incredible imagery. Great work!

Love,
Margherita

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

8 posted 2011-10-29 09:45 AM

I think my favorite of yours thus far, my friend, though it left me feeling it was incomplete at the end... for what ever reason.

Thoroughly enjoyed it . . .

j.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

9 posted 2011-10-30 10:03 PM

Enjoyed...James

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

10 posted 2011-10-30 10:15 PM

Interesting poem and enjoyed,
ms. e

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