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Childhood
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Childhood |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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I don't write such poems anymore. I'm old and all of the hurt has been eased somewhat. Still, every so often, the need to write about it surfaces. This is one of those times. <><><><> the bitter taste of a miserable childhood with only God's goodness to see me through but He left me there with her why? I was too young for Him to be avenging me all I know is that it was a cruel thing He did His departure mutilated my young years for I was left at the mercy of her she had no mercy control a good word you must have control and you must control the young show them the way by any means violence was that means at my house you can be put in a prison without bars where you can go to school (more control) necessary to mold young minds my prison changed almost on a daily basis all according to the whim of her hate is a strong word when you commit to hate you turn over the rationale part of you to irrational thought be that is it may I hate that place I grew up in with her topping the list in the guise of raising me to be a good and proper person she allowed her demons to manifest themselves on my body and mind quick with a slap a belt, or a limb from a tree sometimes her demons gave her the idea to throw things at me I learned to duck that angered the demons how did I survive it intact? I didn't high school found me ashamed when the bruises showed the cuts festered tried to cover them up how do you cover your face? I felt shame became antisocial at first then became the class clown the joker in the deck doing crazy things for attention things that would get me paddled (they did that back then) had an actual knock-down-drag-out fight with Mr. Easley in the hallway between classes had a cheering audience "Get 'im, Pat, get 'im." I held my own I believe in God I believe in a god who has violent temper tantrums how else to understand the Adam and Eve story for their one "crime" the whole world was cursed diseases were introduced for there was no longer a Garden of Eden His tantrum was, and is, widespread involving every human even small children who He gives agonizingly, painful diseases where they undergo treatment even more agonizing and painful than the disease itself yes I believe in God a moody, hateful, wrathful one ©October 19, 2011 / Jerry Pat Bolton ~* If they give you lined paper, write the other way. ~*~ [This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (10-24-2011 09:47 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2011 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Eusta B. Mae 2 Junior Member
since 2011-10-20
Posts 15state of confusion |
Jp2 this is some strong stuff here. Hard to imagine what your mom was going through to make her act like that. Sorry you were at the recieving end. ebm |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks, Eusta B. Mae 2, I survived, but had some bad years trying to deal with its aftereffects. ~* If they give you lined paper, write the other way. ~*~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I used to think I'd had it tough... but as I learn what others have survived, I realize how cushy my life was in comparison... I may have worn bruises, but I also knew love. (((((HUGS))))) to those who got too much of the first and not nearly enough of the latter. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Appreciate the comments and the comparison, suthern, because it is so true that other had it even worse. at least I wasn't stuck in a cage and not fed and tortured like I read about every so often. So yeah, as bad as we think we have it, there is always someone who had it worse. ~* If they give you lined paper, write the other way. ~*~ |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
JP2...I couldn't imagine having to go thru what you went thru. As everyone else we all hear the terrible stories on the nightly news and just shake our heads in disbelief but saddly it happens everyday. Touching story you have told within this poem. I know the scars will never leave but hpoefully they have healed a little...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I have found a place, Paul, where I can deal with the past and not be obsessed with it. It took me many years and many different roads I traveled to make the memories fade somewhat. I'm old now, maybe that's why I'm dealing with it better than I used to, but like I said in the poem, sometimes I just HAVE to address those days again. Thank you for your kind remarks. ~* If they give you lined paper, write the other way. ~*~ |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Well, then address them right here and all that will, will give you a hand, or at least support your endeavor to deal with what ever you need. So let it all hang-out, or air it out. Bless you my friend. JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I thought that was what I was doing, JL, airing it out here. I've been dealing with it all for some time now, just need to explode every so often. Thanks . . . ~* If they give you lined paper, write the other way. ~*~ |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I can relate to this and understand why you still need to vent sometimes. Ida |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I'm sorry you can relate, Ida and thank you for being here. ~* If they give you lined paper, write the other way. ~*~ |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Oh, how I can relate to this one. Some wounds never really heal... you just learn to live with them. I'm glad you did write this, JP. It makes the peace I usually see in you that much more profound. I find writing sometimes alleviates the emotion, even if it's only temporary. I hope it did for you on this one. Michael |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Michael, if it hadn't been for my writing I dread to think of what I would have become. Thank you for sharing some space with me today. ~* If they give you lined paper, write the other way. ~*~ |
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