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Open Poetry #47
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Rue St. Paul
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Rue St. Paul |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Rue St. Paul Moonlight pushes at clouds the color of skim milk. They appear to bulge. You’d think light has weight. On nights like this you feel it like veils on your face. Elderly buildings, like these, feel their top courses give up round french stones. They want to submit to what’s greater than themselves. They’re like everything. Now conventioneers stream into the street, singing Portugese music. O Chez Fado!, they sing, we are wild for love to fall on us like stones! Any comments or crits are appreciated. [This message has been edited by Bob K (10-15-2011 10:02 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2011 Bob K - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...James |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Thank you, James; I appreciate it. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
You know I only read you in the Alley, when I'm lurking of course. You should know I think your debating skills are to be admired. I see you are quite the poet as well, and I enjoyed your poem, very much!! |
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Nocturnal Pulse Member
since 2010-08-12
Posts 84Australia |
Very cleverly written : ) |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Thank you, Blues; I appreciate you comments. This is an initial draft, and I'm not sure where to go with it. |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Very nice of you to say so, NP. Very kind indeed. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You’d think light has weight. On nights like this you feel it like veils on your face. I like this look at the unseen forces about us... a perfect contrast to the oblivious partying. *S* |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
What a kind comment, Suthern. I hadn't noticed that my unconscious was working so hard, but you're right; there it is, and you caught it before I did. Thanks. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I liked the images that I saw as I read and I appreciated feeling the weight of the light. The word "bulge" interested me as I first read it as "budge". I thought it was a good word for this poem - and I liked that it worked even when I read the word wrong. Bob, I read the poem several times and dont' have any comments to offer as a critique. I liked the way that lines were broken - and I, too, liked the contrast that suthern mentioned. It's good to read your poetry. Thank you for sharing. Alison |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"Now conventioneers stream into the street, singing Portuguese music. O Chez Fado!, they sing, we are wild for love to fall on us like stones!" This entire poem is picturesque, very descriptive, and the last two verses were excellent. I could picture a rustic part of a town and a robust crowd pouring out onto the streets from a pub or a bar hoisting their bottles of wine and singing. The only problem was with me trying to decide if this was Montreal or Paris. I guess it could be either? Nonetheless, it was a great read. Enjoyed. JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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