Seasons (I think these are all Haikus, but syllables hurt me, so...)

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Open Poetry #47

Seasons (I think these are all Haikus, but syllables hurt me, so...)

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2011-10-10 07:41 PM

Seasons

Laughter in the sun
joy sounds in the heart of youth –
Spring brings youth to all.

Footprints bend the grass
a soul passing by unseen –
Summer wind saw it.

A single leaf falls
yellowish-gold sunlight fades –
Fall flies with the geese.

Snowflakes touch the ground
pure white waves blown by the wind -
Winter calls its own.

w. james beard, jr.

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

1 posted 2011-10-10 07:51 PM

Well, I couldn't tell you the difference in a Haiku and a hiccup... but these were beautiful. I like the second the best...

quote:
Footprints bend the grass
a soul passing by unseen –

nice imagery.
Michael

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2011-10-10 07:55 PM

Aw, it's a combination of both, jwesley. We have so maligned the original (whatever it was) it is now American haiku and senryu.

I liked the way you covered the seasons here, very much so.

~*~ Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are.--Houssaye ~*~

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2011-10-10 08:01 PM

First, thank you for the smile your syllable hurt gave... I know I shouldn't enjoy your pain, but I needed that! *S*

Second... whatever the proper terminology, one thing is definite... these are beautiful!!! *S*

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

4 posted 2011-10-10 08:03 PM

I don't nit pick other people's syllables...I just read and enjoy. These were beautiful. I liked that line too Michael.
Lori

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

5 posted 2011-10-10 09:50 PM

NICE, description of the seasons, Ms. E

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

6 posted 2011-10-10 11:43 PM

Glorious, Jimmy, especially . . . well, all of them, but especially, especially the third one, and especially, especially, especially the flying geese.

Owl

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

7 posted 2011-10-11 03:33 AM

These are quite simply enchanting, dear Jimmy!

After reading them and simply enjoying them, I read them again and the syllable count is perfect too ...

Loved them all!

M

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

8 posted 2011-10-11 06:34 AM

Basho would approve, especially the last two.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

9 posted 2011-10-11 01:32 PM

"A single leaf falls
yellowish-gold sunlight fades –
Fall flies with the geese."

Just witnessed that yesterday. A very cool morning and the silence broken by the honking of geese. Nice one J.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

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