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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2011-09-27 06:24 PM

The problem with being a wanderer,
a vagabond if you will,
is that you tend to scatter parts of you
along the highways and byways
you have traveled,

I did.

I left my heart in California.
Went back to try to find it
a few times,
but it was gone forever,
I'll never get it back.

My sense of right and wrong
lay scattered along the Interstate System
across America.
I have managed to repair
it to some degree.

It was in a dive in Juarez, Mexico,
named the Copa de Oro
I left a man lying in a pool of blood,
not dead, but hurt bad
therefore I left all good sense,
it was him or me, still . . .
I've been mending that part of me through the years.

My body has paid the price
for stupidly in Dallas, Texas,
thinking how much fun it would be
to shove steel rods
into my veins and squirt poison into them
although I lived over it
I'm not sure stupidity has quite recovered.

My eyes were left in a thousand places
still looking for something,
anything which would make me whole
I can still see even after losing
so much sight
I wear glasses; that is a form of repairing.

My mouth is still attached,
but not as arrogant as before,
in small towns and large cities,
except sometimes when provoked.
There is a saying,
don't let your mouth overload your ass,
I did a few times,
but I'm more careful now,
another little bit of mending going on.

So! As you can see,
I'm scattered all over America,
and Mexico,
I've reclaimed most of what I lost,
tried to patch them up,
except my heart,
as I said before,
it is beyond repair.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (09-27-2011 07:50 PM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2011-09-27 06:55 PM

Dear JP, you wrote this so well. At our ripe old age the choices we made in our youth are learning curves to be sure.
I mean we were invincible once upon a time, or so we thought.

"Isn't life strange
A turn of the page
A book without light
Unless with love we write;
To throw it away
To lose just a day
The quicksand of time"

*Moody Blues

This was an honest to goodness write and I really enjoyed reading your thoughts.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2011-09-27 07:09 PM

Blues, that quote from the Moody Blued (one of my all-time favorite bands) was, as we used to say, right on.

I've lost and tried to repaid more than I listed here, but it served the purpose for me to relate what I did.

Thank you very much, Blues, for being here.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (09-27-2011 10:09 PM).]

MorningStar
Member

since 2009-10-26

Posts 290
Pittsburgh, Pa

3 posted 2011-09-27 07:21 PM

Thank you so much for sharing this.

Since joining this site I've read a lot of poetry. And thought a lot about the hidden things about ourselves we don't say. And the impacting things about ourselves that we only hint at. And this is very likely one of the most touching and open pieces I've ever read.

And that makes it honestly beautiful.

I think the saddest thing in the world - would be to reach the end of your life and find your heart resting securely in your own hands. Hearts were meant to be given away. All at once. In little pieces. Everywhere we go. Our hearts were designed for others. And if they could be gotten back so easily then it would demean the power and beauty of giving it away. Even if it hurts.

Aenea

"I'll tell you how the sun rose
A ribbon at a time..." - Emily Dickinson

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2011-09-27 07:34 PM

That last paragraph is so touching, Aenea, it rips into my chest cavity. I have been around some. I have heard and seen much, but that is the most beautiful paragraph I have ever read, and thank YOU for including it in your comments concerning my poem.

If it hadn't have been for poetry, my friend, I don't know what would have happened to me. I used it over the last many years to work out forgiving myself for some of the things I have done in my life. Yes, I am at peace with myself, at least much more than I used to be, but you can forgive yourself forever and it does help, but the pain is still there, it just lessons as the years accumulate.

Thank you for being here.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

5 posted 2011-09-27 09:52 PM

I wanted to reply to this, because simply put it touched me. It pulled something free. I'm afraid my reply is wanting, in the wake of such heartfelt replies prior to this one. I didn't want to let it go unsaid, though.

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

6 posted 2011-09-27 10:06 PM

It's true we all leave pieces of ourselves along our path...but sometimes we also pick up others..well-earned and valuable.

Best,
A

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

7 posted 2011-09-27 10:07 PM

If my words were the catalyst that "pulled something free," that is all needed to be said, Nicole. I thank you very much for deciding to post your thoughts, they are wonderful. Thank you again.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

8 posted 2011-09-27 10:09 PM

You are so right, I admit that I found and picked up some things in my travels that were a Godsend in many different situations.

I appreciate your kind words, Amaryllis.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

9 posted 2011-09-28 03:07 AM

Happy the repairing is going well, Jerry. And what a stunning reply from MorningStar!

Owl

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

10 posted 2011-09-28 07:58 AM

Yep, Morning Star was fantastic.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

11 posted 2011-09-28 08:15 AM

Jerry you know how I feel about being able to share these walks with you. This one was especially special. Your honesty is gut wrenching at times but there always seems to be a sense of liberation in the telling. I feel blessed to be able to read your confessions and learn from your experiences. Thank you
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

12 posted 2011-09-28 08:21 AM

Good morning, Lori and thank you profusely for you comments. When writing such a poem, a baring of the soul in a manner of speaking is hard to do, but if you are bound and determined to do it being grittily honest is a prerequisite in the writing of it.

Thanks again, Lori.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

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