heartbreak girl and her wall

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Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2011-01-20 07:12 PM

She stared at the walls
Hoping they would move
Where the lake behind her house
Use to shadow the midnight moon

Her shirt, white
Like the stairs leading to the boat
Sitting beyond her patio deck

Oh where, oh where does this pain
Of the soul come from
Is it better to love and cry later?
Or never have to cry at all?

She picked the latter
The one where the tears
DonÕt remind you of your most recent blunder

The cringe of it all
The letters, the kisses,
Nights under moons with no premonitions
Of the events about to take place
Between you and your other half

Other half, ha,
The other reason to wake with a smile
Until the day comes where the walls
Well, even the cabinets, the dressing room mirrors
Are your only friends to confide

The walls have a way of sharing your pain
With the silence they convey
Their motionless waves of solid colors illuminating the room

So she stared
Until the night bid adieu
The walls watched after her
But only until she could no longer sit in her room.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

1 posted 2011-01-20 07:17 PM

Nice wordplay concerning love lost, being alone, and seeking substance.

~ Clones are people two ~

katahdin
Senior Member

since 2010-07-01

Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.

2 posted 2011-01-20 07:19 PM

Nicely done! I liked your different and unique view of heartbreak.
Kat >^..^<

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

3 posted 2011-01-20 07:27 PM

Thanks Jerry...I think it's important to seek substance when you feel that empty.

Tomer

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

4 posted 2011-01-20 07:28 PM

Thanks, Kat...hopefully you haven't experienced any first hand!

Cheers

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

5 posted 2011-01-20 07:51 PM

Interesting images and situation Tomer.

Like that last part summation, very good!

Eric

two maggots were fighting in dead earnest!

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

6 posted 2011-01-21 10:06 AM

I like your take on this and the imagery...enjoyed.
Lori

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

7 posted 2011-01-21 01:15 PM

"Is it better to love and cry later?
Or never have to cry at all?" ...excellent

...this write was superbly designed...enjoyed so much

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

8 posted 2011-01-21 01:47 PM

Oh, if the walls could talk, the stories they would tell. I absolutely adore your last two stanzas they could stand alone and still bring the full picture. Enjoyed.

-Trina
You better believe that my sarcasm could piss a happy meal off.

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

9 posted 2011-01-23 07:24 PM

Thanks, Eric..appreciate the feedback. Hope you're doing well.

Thanks, Lori...happy you enjoyed the imagery.

Cheers

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

10 posted 2011-01-23 07:30 PM

Thanks, Steve...happy you enjoyed.

Sinfully...sometimes the most comforting things in our lives are where we feel most comfortable. In this case, her room was that salvation. Take care

Cheers

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