Open Poetry #47 |
truffles |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Summer streamed rude ribbons they splayed across the Augustine reflected in the blades of grass a warning: I'm Anathema. I shook the dew off of the sleeve of my daily newspaper housed by that Monsanto bleed: Kenny has killed Kenny! sigh I saw it coming. I still wept with knowledge of the domino's repercussive-cough-effect... So I went inside. I read the news like it was new knowing my eyes cannot lie I took upon myself a hood like the cobra's question mark erect and curvature, assured I'll strike (as any mother would) * * * I watched aware, sidelined again; with my right hand across my chest as I watched another fall. This one, we lost on July 4th-- In-depend-incense-less-ness. The faith of parents near and far-- we're-so-lucky-whisperings bent in solace grief amends with grateful backs turned to the grave we clasped our children unto us. As if the shadow would respect this much: "Tears are Oshun's children" *touch* they take a piece of us away returning with the tide the bits as sand of former castlings and still we dare to greet the day. * * * I told no one I cut myself so I'd produce a sacrifice. For my children I cut twice and marked an "x" upon my door... The frogs, the boils, the flies we trust "surely this must be enough" tossing sage to fire inside as truffles to a Lord of Lust of "daily ye must die." * * * Another prompted one more mother to display her sacrifice. Spare me Lord, what I have wrought. Oh grant me Thou, Mercy, Largesse For one more day? I'll bend my knee ten thousand times. I'll cut myself in two's, again, no better than much better men-- I'm begging for my own children: I'll die that they might live. * * * * * [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (09-10-2011 07:23 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2011 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Karen, I don't pretend to understand anything like all of this, though I do believe I understand quite a bit - but most of all I feel its essence. Your poetry is like - and I know I have said this before, but this is what it evokes for me - the richest, darkest, dampest, most fruit-and-nut-and-brandy-laden most delicious fruit cake, that one takes small bites of at a time to make it last, and stops talking and breathing to savour every nuance of its taste. Oh, gosh, now you have me craving fruit cake with huge maraschino cherries and all described above in it - and as I don't have any, I'll have to read your poem again - and after all your poem is way better than the best fruit cake, anyway! If anyone were to ask me what I would fear most, I do believe I would say harming one of Serenity Blaze's children. I would rather meet a dozen darling spitting cobras than the ire of Karen protecting her children. Smiles. Not meaning to make light of the power or depth of your poem, nor your wonderful self and your rich and sensitive feelings, but, like William Carlos Williams, just had to say. Hugs Owl |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is so profound and complex, that I can't absorb it in its fullness in one read, but I got the core message and of course it hit home. You are one hell of a Poetess! Love and peace. Margherita |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
A lot of people "passed over" this summer. This is just my way of--well, forget the rationale--it's just become my way, and I thank you all for the indulgences and kind words. thank you |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
(((((Karen))))) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I just...I have to edit. I'll light a candle for Gibbons, Josephus, and all other historians. Soon. ((((((Margherita & Diana))))) |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Such a thing (a tale) as this can only be told from a feminine viewpoint (my opinion)..what is here is a profound sensuousness...hard life things explained, and yet I read the descriptions without anger, (as I would, I believe, if a man wrote similar words)--a feminine voice leads my mind to mild acceptance. "Kenny has killed Kenny!" The change of font, and exclamation, to describe a suicide...(I am assuming) --very effective, and does not call for exclamation other than...Perfect! "I took upon myself a hood like the cobra's question mark erect and curvature, assured I'll strike (as any mother would) Also perfect! Now you have taken the scene into a different realm,(nature metaphor) as a poet must to show the interaction of surface impermanence and actions of a related species to the subject..the cobras question mark, the snake, portrayed as evil from the garden 'til now.. And yet, what is it that the mother can strike at? What is it into, can she release the venom of situational anger? Then you take it to a level of myth, to mention the patron protector of orphans , portrayed as tears..I believe you are asking her for protection from the sadness of losing someone, but not really sure, and really don't have to know..I love myths, and you wrote the word "Oshun" and it is effective. The ritual of grief by cutting is ancient, and odd, or is it? Certainly, I am not an advocate...and yet, I am not the victim here, and so I, by prejudice, state that. Did not the first nation women of the plains, cut their arms in grief when a husband, or relative died in battle or by disease? I believe the ritual when used by most moderns, is different than why those plains women used it..which was to feel pain not related to sorrow, (physical) which eased the spirit pain of grief. Sorry for rambling this morning, but the poem struck me hard and it eases the pain of working for a week in mud. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
If I eased your pain, even a little bit, then I did something good. I much appreciate your insightful eyes. ty And you did it--you followed my little timeline from iconography to a bitty bit of history. I like feeling understood. *groovy* |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
stunning clarity. "I took upon myself a hood like the cobra's question mark" Perfect! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh Master C. You do know I love you so much I must hug you gently, right? Well, yer kinda like huggin' a cat, so yeah. With long sleeves. I squeeze. Gotcha! *wink* ty, solemn. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thanks for the hugs, Karen. Prayers for those who have passed and for their families. Thanks also for the richness of the replies that you evoke from everyone. Owl |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Taking it to the limit / Your limit / Serenity's limit / Giving most of us fits and chuckles and out and out laughter / Gotta laugh about [stuff - profanity edited by Ron], huh? / Laugh until you cry, that's that way you do it / Take the world upon yourself / Slip upon that Magic Carpet Ride and arrive D.O.A. . . . / Pull a Beetlejuice and twist your head around and go on living . . . Karen, you caused all of this . . . I got carried away, almost didn't post it . . . ~~ The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. ~~ [This message has been edited by Ron (09-12-2011 02:55 PM).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I saw it coming. I still wept with knowledge of the domino's repercussive-cough-effect... So I went inside. I read the news like it was new knowing my eyes cannot lie I took upon myself a hood like the cobra's question mark erect and curvature, assured I'll strike (as any mother would) I read this soon after it was posted... and several days later, am still impressed by the power in your words. I could copy many lines... I know you well enough to know that this has many levels beyond the obvious... but the love of mother for child and lengths she'd go to that the child be protected is simply breathtaking. |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I really liked this. There is enough that leaves questions for me to ask. I like it. Juju -Juju |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
You must know that I know Oshums' mother. You have such intellect and empathy. jo |
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