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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2011-09-09 09:25 AM

Standing under the moon,
alone, feeling its power,
just outside my door;
something woke me and urged me out here.
Me in my boxers, nothing else,
trying to get my thoughts straight,
wanting to remember
why I am here.
The moon. Almost white,
surrounded by bluish starlight.
There is no sound,
not even a dog barking unseen,
usually there is that,
but not now.
The moon is huge tonight,
huge and white,
it seems to be reflecting the stars
from a great body of water,
ah, a placid breeze,
smelling of sea brine accosts me pleasantly.
And now it is dark,
I am standing in the dark,
an unpleasant cloud has passed between
the moon and I.
But only for a fleeting moment,
the moon has returned.
The whiteness of the moon
gives the impression
it has the skin of an onion,
and if you peeled layer by layer from it,
when you were finished
there'd be
such beauty that to even look at it
would bring you pain;
it would be so perfect,
and, as imperfect as we humans are,
merely to gaze upon perfection
would surely blind us.
Well, that is quite enough,
I have become quite delirious,
almost like that acid flashback they said I'd get someday.
But no, it is a real moment,
not many moments like that anymore.
I walk back inside
I lay back down,
scrunch the cover around my neck,
and savor what I've just experienced
as my eyes close
and I drift back to . . .

~~ How come abbreviated is such a long word? ~~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (09-09-2011 10:14 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2011-09-09 09:39 AM

I've had those evenings
when the quiet of the moon
is so loud
it whispers you awake...

lovely!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2011-09-09 10:15 AM

Thanks, Sunshine for the nice comments and the edit. Gotta love it.

~~ How come abbreviated is such a long word? ~~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

3 posted 2011-09-09 10:40 AM

Jerry, You make me feel like I'm right there
as you're talking...I love that about the way you write.
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2011-09-09 11:19 AM

Hi Lori, you say the nicest things in your comments. Thank you so much.

~~ How come abbreviated is such a long word? ~~

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

5 posted 2011-09-09 12:21 PM

“Me in my boxers, nothing else,
trying to get my thoughts straight,
wanting to remember
why I am here.

I have become quite delirious,
almost like that acid flashback they said I'd get someday.

not many moments like that anymore.
I walk back inside
I lay back down,
scrunch the cover around my neck,
and savor what I've just experienced
as my eyes close
and I drift back to . . .”

Enjoyed the write, and these verses simply jumped off the screen at me.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

6 posted 2011-09-09 12:26 PM

I appreciate you being here to read and comment on my poetry, JL, thank you very much.

~~ How come abbreviated is such a long word? ~~

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

7 posted 2011-09-09 03:25 PM

You shared the stillness so vividly I felt the peace... thank you!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

8 posted 2011-09-09 04:30 PM

Thank YOU, suthern, for saying such a nice thing about my poem.

~~ How come abbreviated is such a long word? ~~

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

9 posted 2011-09-10 01:33 AM

This made me feel as though I had shared the experience.
Ida

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

10 posted 2011-09-10 04:57 AM

quote:
The whiteness of the moon
gives the impression
it has the skin of an onion,
and if you peeled layer by layer from it,
when you were finished
there'd be
such beauty that to even look at it
would bring you pain;
it would be so perfect,
and, as imperfect as we humans are,
merely to gaze upon perfection
would surely blind us.

This is just perfect, dear Jerry! You got a glimpse of divine light and the moon was the conductor.
To surrender to wonderment is the most touching way to appreciate life, it stirs in us to care for the beauty that is.
I even love how you said you were half-naked during this experience, the light and the breeze and the caress of all the beauty feels so good on the skin ... and in a way I connect it too to the emptiness of the mind, which is a premise to be "filled" with all there is.

Excellent and highly enjoyable.

Love,
Margherita

"Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love."
(Rumi)

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

11 posted 2011-09-10 10:16 AM

Thank you, Ida. To hear such words brings a smile to my face.

Margherita, once again you have made me proud. As I was writing this something possessed me and almost pushed my fingers onto the particular keys to compose that which you highlighted. I felt almost terrifying as I unpeeled the layers in my mind. Not many poems have had that effect on me.

~~ How come abbreviated is such a long word? ~~

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